"Noah! Where are you? Noah ______ _______ " (insert middle and last name for classic Mom emphasis.) "What are you doing?" It had only been a few minutes since he had let the living room to go "potty." About 2 minutes longer than it should have taken.
"I'm coming! I have to change!" Said a little voice, as five year old feet hit the steps- going upstairs, NOT towards the living room. Something was up.
A quick investigation showed my his need to change was not related to the potty. When I went in the bathroom, I found mascara and eye shadow smeared on the counter. Worse yet? There were trails of eye-brow wax across the sink and floor. I looked to see if he'd even used the toilet- and to my dismay, he had, but not for the reasons the I would. My toilet was now decorated with eyeballs and a smile. I fumed.
I had spent all day playing housework catch-up after a rough week last week. I called him down. He looked like he was in a 1950's western, as an "Indian" of the John Wayne as a cowboy type. He had mascara warpaint.
I made him have a seat, in "time out" while I scraped the counter of wax and tried to remove the makeup from the toilet seat. I was furious and I made sure he knew it. The harder I had to scrub- the more angry I got and for some reason- my mouth seemed hard-wired to my cleaning supplies- I just kept going.
"You know you're not supposed to get into mommy's make up, and make a mess! How many times have I told you not to touch?" I ranted.
He just looked at me. He looked down. He looked around.
"Mommy? What's that? Did I make that mess too? I'm sorry, Mommy " He said. Pointing to deep mahogoany drip marks on the cupboard door and tiny ones on the hard wood floor.
The drips were not Noah's mess. They were mine. "No honey- that's hair dye- mommy did that accidently." (NEVER dye your hair in a room with hardwood.- fyi)
I continued scrubbing.
"Oh, I love you- even if you made a mess Mommy" Said the mascared little man.
My eyes welled up with tears. Not over the mess- but over the grace. Grace is being loved- even when you make a mess. My anger went out like the tide. Noah was giving me- what he needed. forgiveness, grace.
"I love you too Noah, even if you make a mess. But, you're staying in time-out until I'm done cleaning."
"The LORD is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.
As a father has compassion on his children,
so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;
for he knows how we are formed,
he remembers that we are dust."
"Dear Lord- I am so glad that you love me- even when I make a mess, I am also so glad to have a little one who loves me- even when my anger gets out of control- thank you Lord- for your mercy and grace, for your love and understanding. Thank you for your reminder of grace, amen"
Double dose today! It's Tuesday! So- my weekly post is up at Laced With Grace- stop by there to read my post about "Waves" !
Labels: devotions, Laced with Grace