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Wednesday, June 07, 2006

hack cough wheeze.. fat woman dies, having an asthma attack while chasing beagle- who only stops to kill a bird- then run again


You know it's been a long time since you've exercised--- when you have to chase down the beagle after the Noah boy releases her into the wild...and you return, sounding like hippo dying of asthma.

While sipping coffee- this morning- I heard the "woo whooo" sound that suffices for Noah's "whistle" for Sami.

Noah whistling for Sami is a bad thing.

It means he let her out the door. (well, it means he opened the patio door- and she bolted)

We have no fences in our neighborhood. We have loads of critters (skunks, possum, raccoons, birds and a fox, the deer have moved on) in our neighborhood. Sami is a beagle. Beagles hunt. Beagles bodies get outside-then, their noses engage the ground. It is a serious relationship between beagles and propels their cute little possessed bodies forward, as if their brain has been by-passed- with only the nose, left to controls their movements, and that it does.

Sami cannot hear, when she is chasing critters. Sami is a hunting machine.

I grabbed the leash (dragging a squirming beagle thro a swamp by the collar is not a favorite past-time) couldn't find shoes- with the exception of sandals....slipped them on- risking ankle breakage, and then threatened the child that if he moved from his spot on the couch he would NEVER see "Sprout TV" again.

Then, I took off, after the possessed beast.

Ran thro the swamp- (really a water retention pond in the common area behind our house) weeds above my knees- mosquitoes, buzzing and trying to follow the zigzagging white tipped beagle tale- as it searched for prey.

I lost my "visual" soon enough. At which point I remembered that before exercising--- (this was) I need to take my inhaler. I had the leash- I had "shoes" (well- kind of) but no inhaler.

Wheeeeeeeeeze, cough, hack. cough hack huff puff.

So our morning began.

I chased her into the next sub- where she promptly killed a bird.

I could see it as if in slow motion..... "NO Sami!" It was too late- the carnage had begun.....

I thought that would be my chance--- I kick off the stupid sandals... and sprinted (ok, I wheezed puffed) to where she was on point with the bird.

(Sami gets confused- bird- rabbit--- eat it or kill it or point it out to her People)

She barked in a circle around the poor flopping bird.... I DOVE to get her....(well- I may have fallen while trying to reach for her.. but let's say "DOVE")

The grass was wet.

I didn't get her.

But, I DID avoid the bird. (yuk)

I didn't break anything. I slid.

I then, also became possessed- (i must have- because the evil hoarse wheezy "SAMI"that came from my mouth, finally stopped her.)

I grabbed her by the collar. wrapped the lead around my wrist. Summoned up what was left of my wheezy dignity, and walked her home. On a VERY short leash.

Absolutely afraid that Noah had started his own search- and I'd have to find him next.

He hadn't. He was crying by the back door.

Things I learned this morning:

1) I need to put the sliding door lock back on.

2) I need to keep tennis shoes by the back door.

3) I need to exercise. (SO I can better chase dogs and kids)

4) I need to get my inhaler prescription refilled

5) I do like this stupid dog. ( I went running thru the neighborhood sans makeup- in a tank top and sweats and sandals to get the stupid thing... THAT shows love- trust me;) I would chase her again, if she got out later today. (I would beat her butt- when I got her--- but I'd chase her just the same)

I also think it's a very good thing that God doesn't have asthma- because I have been SOOOO like Sami. Nose to the ground- sniffing to find "what I want"-- oblivious to my surroundings- running too close to a dangerous road.

Fortunately- for me- God is a much better runner. He is patient and loving- and never WHEEZES. Sometimes he patiently waits for me to tire- and return. Sometimes-without giving chase- He "Arrives" and makes himself known in the middle of my chase.

I stop. I walk home with Him. Instead of a "butt whooping" I get a gentle reminder of His love for me.....He rejoices when He finds us- regardless of where we're running- or what we've done...

The Parable of the Lost Sheep
Matthew 18: 10-14
"See that you do not look down on one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven."What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

Dear Lord- I love you- thank you for chasing me- although- I feel more like a dumb dog- than a dumb sheep- but I suppose it's the same....Thank you for loving me enough, to die on a cross- for my sin. Thank you for your patience love and mercy in my life- thank you for helping me catch that stupid dog today- We do care about her, even if she's bad!
I love you Lord- and ask you to help me be patient with others, to help me run only TO you - and never FROM you.

Best of all- Thank you for catching me Lord- and walking home with ME! Amen!

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