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Saturday, February 11, 2006

Surprise- I'm Stubborn Over here- too!

Surprise- I'm Stubborn over here- too.

I suppose it's true.

I am stubborn.

Because I am stubborn.... I have "Bouts".

Today- I had one. A LOOOOOOOONG one. A "BOUT" All CAPS. See, "webrings" I want to join.

Most stipulate that the html code for the ring- be visible at all times... but NOT like February 9ths post- of "Buttons".. each day I blog---- my poor webring buttons would move further down the page- becoming- even now- USELESS.

HTML editing is only available on MSN Spaces- during edit blog entry mode.

Hence the total absense of "Buttons" in the sidebars of MSN Space bloggers.......

Honestly- It's embarrassing how many different ways I tried to circum-navigate this... an hour (or three) here- a few more there.... I finally went as far as to set up an entire NEW blog- on BLOGGER....

You can visit--- but- I'm not happy with it. Let me know what YOU think. (comments are easier over there----"lurker lucys!")

However- It DOES have Buttons--- and I DID spend hours copying my previous posts- to it---------a pseudo-back-up archive- in effect.......

BUT, the spacing is messed. The blogger navigation bar--- blocks the banner- and looks crummy. There is no photo album.... separate photo hosting...which I'll ALSO have to figure out......

Am I capable of fixing it??? Probably, eventually.

But- more importantly, am I capable of LETTING IT GO????????

That's the hard part for me---letting go - See, I know how to "dig in" and work till something gets done---( or someone gets dead;) It's the giving up- cause it's not worth the effort---- that, I don't get. Well, not easily.

See, today, was Saturday. WAS. I stayed home.....cleaned house, put away laundry, made the teens clean--- (kind of--- they were "miraculously inspired"---- after they realized they really weren't going anywhere until they could walk thru their bedroom without injury.) And, spent hours frustrated with blogging. Yeah- journaling, blogging- it's therapeutic. Unless you're STUBBORN. Let's just say- it wasn't therapeutic- TODAY.

In between "cleaning bouts" and "blogger bouts"......

I blew an entire day with my family.

DH works- HARD. He's a phenomenal guy, excellent at what he does--- and he's "head's down" on a MAJOR project for work.... he also travels.... so ,time to just "Hang" is at a premium. Next weekend is booked. This one should have been down time. Instead- WORK.

Told ya, I'm stubborn.

But, I'm not stupid. This is it---- I'm leaving blogger alone---- and web-rings- and buttons until Monday!

Tomorrow is Sunday. We get up early---- (well I do ) then rush around like maniacs- getting ready- go to church..... worship. worship. It's like the ultimate letting go. One I like to do. After church--- we do dinner out---

Then we'll GOOF OFF.

All Day.


Maybe a movie---- (Noah wants to see "Curious George")

See- I'm stubborn, but not stupid. This afternoon- in mid "BOUT" I got the picture. My 16 year old came down stairs----- from cleaning his room....saying-

"Mom, I found something in my room that will make you cry."

NOT something a mother of 3 sons- EVER wants to hear.

He was carrying a VERY old "previously peach" colored, cotton knit blanket... or what was left of one. His "Stinky One" from his first "Big boy bed"..... never slept without it. It did, btw- make me cry.

I know- it's cliche----- but- wasn't it REALLY just yesterday?

There won't be many more weekends for him to be home--- he'll be in college- way too soon.... what will he remember? Our clean house? (umm, NOPE- cause it's still not clean!) My Awesome blog ring membership? The artisitic layout of Mom's blog?

Uh----NO. Hello. I said, he's 16.

Will Noah remember- my "Accomplishment" after hours of work? Nope, he'll remember we read the ABC dog book between laundry loads.... that's about it.

What about My middle son? Will he remember the cool video game spot he had in his "sweet" room? Nope. But, he'll remember- that I volunteered all night at his school carnival.. and goofd with his friends- in a non-embarrassing way. (mostly)

A few years from now, will DH and I look back at how cool my blog was? (or how neatly the spacing was?) or- how clean the house was? I doubt it. We'll be glad to be together--- ( I like him, he puts up with my crap.) sorry-for the language, but it's TRUE!

Nah, we'll remember- how we learned--- the hard way- how fast time goes by.

See- I'm stubborn, but I can learn.

I am. God is patient, and so gently- (well, as gently as He can, and still get my attention!) reminds me with "Stinky One's... that time is precious. And short.

So tomorrow, we're "OFF DUTY".


Dear Lord-

I Love you- and I love my family. Please help me to not squash them with the weight of my stubbornness. I don't want to waste my time, on things that won't matter. PLease help me to accomplish what I need-
and LET GO, when it's time. I do love you Lord- amen

Psalm 39:4-7

4 "Show me, O LORD, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.
5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.

6 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.

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