Have you ever caught yourself- in the middle of a quandry... loaded with questions, seeking knowledge, searching for understanding, so you can make a right, and sensible decision?
Then, suddenly in the middle of the barrage of questions being formed....have you realized that all the questions don't matter, because you're asking the wrong questions?
I am at the moment.
It usually means, I am avoiding an answer that I don't want to hear. Not, because I am sure of what the answer will be, before I ask, but because of what may be required, in response to whatever the reply may be.
I learned long ago- that God's plan is not always one, that ,on the surface, I like, or even one that makes sense. Sometimes the path He chooses to take me down, instead of smooth, feels bumpy. Risky. Sometimes, even dangerous.
I may even have to change. My plans, my preferences, my understanding.
So, ocasionally, instead of asking and following- I ask questions AROUND the topic.
Kind of like at Christmas- and you're asking little questions to see if you can deduce what your gift may be... not QUITE asking outright- but not, NOT asking either. As a kid I remember wanting to know- but not wanting to be disappointed. I also- in "psycho me" style--I still wanted to hold onto the excitement... stretch it out ...just a bit....longer... to savor the surprise.
It's fine if we're talking about Christmas Gifts, not the will of God.
Ask, Seek, Knock
7"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
9"Which of you, if his son asks for bread, will give him a stone?
Today (while asking questions around an issue) I read this anew. Not, from the "God answering prayer" perspective--- but from the God answering, what we ask, perspective. If I ask the wrong question.... It's possible, I'll get the answer to to what I ask, instead of what I need to know.
"If I ask for bread, will He give me a stone?" If I ask Him "WHAT?" (which I want to know--- the "whats" for me, are generally the details..) ... will He answer the question of "WHERE?" (which I need to know, because it's my job to follow, not, to determine the best, or most sensible, course of action)
I suppose, theoretically, He could answer either. But- in my life- He usually, patiently waits for me to ask, the question I need answered. Somehow, in the waiting- He is already working, preparing me, for the answer.
So what's my problem? Well- (among other things) sometimes, I'm afraid of what the answer may be. I believe in a fully sovereign God- who doesn't have to "do what I want". God is NOT Santa Clause. That means, I may have to risk. I may have to change. His plan, may be different from what I want. A gift- but maybe not what I had in mind.
In general, risk and change feel frightening. Not predictable.
Then- in the middle of the doubt-fear, questions...I remember the Savior. Duh. Yeah. I know.
The one who died for me, is the same one whom I'm asking for direction from. No matter, how things LOOK, or how they FEEL, God in in control. I trust His plan. Because I trust Him. Regardless. His plan is perfect.
So- today, - I'm trusting the Savior. And asking. No more beating around the bush...
Dear Lord- I am wanting to follow, wherever you'll lead in all my life (whether I like it or not;) So, Lord... I'm asking..for your clear direction and I'm listening, fully prepared, to follow. Where ever. I love you Lord- and trust you. amen.