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Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Dip, Splash.

Dip, Splash.

Fortunately, the sounds were from the tub. And, Noah was in the tub, and I was in the bathroom, supervising.. well- and knitting. So far, so good.

"Noah? What are you doing? Keep the water in the tub" I asked-- or actually- TOLD.

"The water's too high, I BAILING" was Noah's response.

I jumped up- to find the water he'd "BAILED" before it dripped thru the floor- then the ceiling... (kids bath is upstairs)... There (astonishingly) was no water on the floor.

"Noah, where's the water?" Now, more curious than anything... (the panic was subsiding.... )

"In the tub. I bailed it to the back" Noah pointed to the back of the tub. Then, started bailing again. From the front of the tub to the back... over and over..... the water level which was "too high" never changed.

I can relate.

There have been lots of times--- where I recognize a "problem" something in my life where "the water is too high".... so I start to dip and bail, like crazy.

Unfortunately, like Noah, I'm bailing to the back of the tub.

I feel fat- which depresses me- so I eat cookies. (Dip, Splash!....Bailing to the back of the tub)

I feel overwhelmed by the work I have to I avoid it... (Dip, SPLASH!)

I miss my husband desperately- so I bite his head off when he comes in the door late... (DIP, SPLASH!)

I want my kids to be responsible... so I nag them... (Dip, Splash.)

I am afraid I may not be able to learn a new skill, so I avoid starting a new project, so I NEVER try to learn it- assuring that I can't, (DIP, SPLASH.)

Sometimes, I'm amazed at how "stupid" I can be..... wasting so much time... bailing to the back of the tub. Wasting time, bailing when I could have been making the situation better....

Maybe, I'm not the first.

Roman's 7
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[
c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!

Dear Lord- help me not waste time- energy and life, bailing to the back of the tub. Please help me to see what I need to do differently, and equip me to do it. I pray for wisdom, Lord- and courage to change. I love you Lord- and thank you for rescuing me--- from ME! amen.

Monday, February 27, 2006

KIRI- I think I can - I think I can.. I AM!!!!!!

WOW! My Fiber Godmother reveal pkg arrived!


(Unfortunately- Blogger is goofing with my pics- so you can go to my MSN SPace- to see them for now-same posting different site- NP;) Was my SPOILER... which she did nicely--- thnx so much!

You can see the pics below- Hand dyed wool- great colors!

A Circular needle holder- in muslin- (thnx---- my circ needles needed organizing!)

CHOCOLATE.... ummm I must have mice or something... (half gone--- ooops must have been me!)
Sweet angel pin! Very cute...

CHOCOLATE candles... thats calorie free chocolate- YUM!

And some GREAT caffe latte caramels.... taste like great coffee! Cute reveal card as well! Thnx again! You made this fun!

My kids are all sick, yeah THATS fun... poor guys are slinging snot everywhere they go---

STOCK TIP: But KLEENEX. () They'll live- they're medicated.

Next up- knitting update-

Been busy knittin-

Unbelievably- I cast on KIRI- yes- I'm WAY late coming to this one--- but really had a struggle with doubting my ability to knit this one... downloaded pattern- printed- (like 4 times) read- re-read---- searched web for input----

Saturday morning- in a moment of impulse- I just went a head and cast it on.

DUH. Sometimes- ya just gotta stop THINKING and start DOING....

I'm repeat 6 of 12 of chart 2. I really had a hard time understanding the construction. Other shawls I've made- had a point up- construction.. this one casts on a small number--- but is still from the top (shoulders) down.... I kept looking at it upside down- thinking I was knitting from the point... and it didn't have the scalloped edges--- so I thought I was going to be ripping back.....

Then I realized i had it wrong. But- only "Perceptually"--- my knitting was fine- my perception was off.

(that could be the theme of my life!) anyways- I should have her finished in a few days---

I used Addi Natura's in US #8's nice points- though the joins stick a bit....
I ordered this 100% Cashmere from Colormart

It's 4 ply- which is somewhere between lace and fingering...

It's a great deal- as it's oiled and on a cone- so- for like the cost of one skein of cashmere- I got an entire cone- which is like 150 grams. A great deal.

I've not enjoyed the process knitting with this yarn- as much as other cashmere- I've knit with- Colour Mart- recommends washing after knitting- I'll probably wash and wind the rest after this is completed- so it has a nicer "hand" to it during knitting- However- I'm sure it'll bloom nicely when washed.

I'm also working on my Knit picks socks--- one down- second one started.

I made up my pkg for my reveal to my Fiber god-daughter... can't wait to see if she likes it--- I found some GREAT goodies- for her.

Back to nursing the sick.

Dear Lord- please heal my little guy- and big guys- and please bless my spoiler- as she's blessed me--- I hope my spoilee- will also be blessed as well!

I love you lord- amen.

Thursday, February 23, 2006

MOPS Leaders- "Shine like Stars in the Universe" Broken and Dirty Glass......

Two broken glass tables.... and learning to "Shine" The difference between "Broken, and Dirty Leaders"

Useless. Frustrating. Irritating. And yes- somewhat stupid. I refer to: Glass topped patio tables.

I live in Michigan. We have beautiful seasons here- and some pretty fierce storms. About 6 years ago-- we built a nice little house- We added a "brick-paver patio" to the back yard. In a "bout" of decorating- we bought a pretty glass topped table and matching umbrella- Can you guess what happened?

Over it went.

"Must be a fluke" So, out we went a few months later- to replace it. Over it went, again in the wind.

See what I mean? Stupid. It should not have take two trips to Home Depot for me to figure that one out. It did. It also required some creative clean-up technique--- as broken bits of glass- are not good for feet- dog- child or otherwise.... lets just say- I used the SHOP VAC on the grass. I thought I had it all.

Last night, around 2:45 am..I let our "Bad Dog Sami" out into the yard... and sparkling in the grass- I saw glass. Broken, table top glass. STILL. Shining in the yard.

This morning- It's still there- but honestly- it's harder to see- why? Because- last night I had the patio door open.... today- I didn't. Sami- was sleeping. (Of course- it was DAYTIME!- Told you- Bad Dog Sami!)

Wanna know something gross? My patio door is seldom clean. Between "Bad Dog Sami" Nose prints- and Noah's "Mystery Goo" (as dubbed by my teens) the glass patio doors seldom sparkle. Actually- their hard to see thru at all. (Well- the bottom third is- anyway)

There is a huge difference between Broken Glass, and Dirty Glass. One somehow- shimmers and catches even MORE light, the other? Nothing. NO shine. No reflection. Just "Mystery Goo".

This year- the MOPS International Theme is taken from Phillipians 2- a favorite passage of scripture for me. But- to be honest- one thats a little problematic. Why? Cause I feel more " broken n dirty" than "Shining like stars!"

See- I'm not perfect. I know- I hear your shocked gasps.......(WAY heavy sarcasm there...) Actually- I'm a sinner. Just scroll thru my blog--- you'll see all KINDS of sin---- anger- (um the sinful kind-- not the righteous kind) prejudice, laziness, greed...... blah blah- and all kinds of "Mystery Goo" I haven't shared with you here). Yet- clearly- throughout scripture- believers- and followers of Christ are called, to be a "City on a hill" to shine hope----- well- read here- and see:

Philippians 2
Imitating Christ's Humility
1If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. 4Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: 6Who, being in very nature[a] God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, 7but made himself nothing, taking the very nature[b] of a servant, being made in human likeness. 8And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death— even death on a cross! 9Therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name, 10that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

Shining as Stars
12Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, 13for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his good purpose.
14Do everything without complaining or arguing, 15so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe 16as you hold out[
c] the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. 17But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. 18So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

See my problem? I'm No "SHINING STAR"... besides- that all sounds a little prideful... and uppity.. don't you think? Like- maybe - if I believe this--- then, I must think I'm "ABOVE" the "DEPRAVED WORLD"... right? WRONG.

What on earth does that have to do with broken tables? Dirty windows? Leaders?

See- it's not about ME. If I read these words in a cursory way--- it looks like it's about ME... but it's not.

It's about God- who HE is, what HE has done--- More often- what He IS DOING, in my life, to SHINE thru. Honestly- that's usually done by being honest about struggles- and allowing God to change my heart and mind- thru His word and His people. Then sharing those things- as encouragement to others--- ("With the comfort you've been given") Truthfully- The comfort I've been given- is God's presense in my life.

There is even a reason for my broken-ness-

2 Corinthinians 4----says this:

5For we do not preach ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord, and ourselves as your servants for Jesus' sake. 6For God, who said, "Let light shine out of darkness,"[a]made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ. 7But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. 12So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.

The difference between Broken and Dirty--- is this: When we are broken- before God in regards to our sin- He shines thru- us. "We have these treasures in jars of clay to show that this all surpassing power is from God and not from us" If we WERE perfect---- in our own- then it WOULD be about us...

Look at what we do as a culture---- we look for "Perfect people" to emulate, to copy and to ogle over.. all the while waiting for them to fall so we can see their "come-uppenance"... (Think Marth Stewart) From fashion to literature- to pop culture- "it's all about________" It's just part of the fallen nature of Man. (and Woman!)

However- when we stop pretending to be perfect- and come to grips with our imperfection- something amazing happens. In our brokeness- God shines thru. He changes us- and shines thru us. He has a plan for our imperfection.

Roman's 3:21-25 makes it clear:

21But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement,[i] through faith in his blood.

"Shine like stars in the universe"? Well- yes- but not because I think "I'm all that"... not even close! And I don't HAVE to be either. (good thing) More like because I know I'm NOT- but God is- and I let Him shine out thru my cracks.

Hopefully- years from now- someone will "open a patio door on the back yard of my life"-- and find broken bits of glass---- imperfect shards- reflecting God- in the sun. Well- unless their letting their Bad Dog out......then it would be in the moonlight!

Dear Lord- We both know I'm a mess, I don't always "GET" why you WANT to shine thru me- (or any other imperfect person!) but- I trust that you do--- because you said so. I love you Lord- and thank you for helping me understand, when I'm challenged by your words . Lord- at least in my brokenness, let me "shine", amen

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Nottin- But Knittin- well- MOSTLY! ;)

Caution: Cuteness and Knitting Content Ahead!
If you're looking for the MOPS article---please scroll down one entry;)


Pics below show:

Lucy Neatby (well- roughly using the pattern ;) Sock in Knitpicks "Star Gazer Lily"( Pinks and a bit of yellow)
( )
On #2 US Bryspun DPNS

In the background- you can see a "created pattern" k2p2 rib sock- in Debbie Bliss Cashmerino Baby- In a pretty purple----- their BOTH Finished! YAY! Used my Lantern Moon DPNs in US #3 for these- took a few days- very quick. Brainless Knitting... I like it.

You can also see an updated Pic Of "Tempting Sweater" from : - It's finished- the wider Hanah Silk Ribbon arrived- and really DOES make it work--- also- it looks better on me with an off the shoulder look. So, I recant my previous disappointment in this project- am now happy with it. Will wear with a black straight skirt- and maybe black boots- ;)

Finally- Knitting wise- You can see the KSH "Birch for Booty-full" It is (again) my own design, using the Bernadins Sampler "Perky Leaves" Pattern from Mary Schiffman's Lacy Knitting" which, is basically the classic "Fern Leaf" lace pattern. I'm using Lantern Moon US #8's to mimic the stitch size of Rowan's beautiful "Birch" Pattern---- and the KSH is in "Splendour"---a pretty deep fuschia. Again- this is a stole- so lengthwise- rectangular- not triangular- just my preferance.

There is also a sweet "cuteness eye-candy" pic of my "Sleeping Angels" You'd never guess how much of a mess these two can make- from this pic.. would you?

Shhhhhhh maybe they'll let me knit........

Monday, February 20, 2006

Of Pride and Prejudice..... NOT the Movie;)

Have you ever had the thought... "I'll never be one of THOSE_____people?" I have to admit, I have. On more than one occasion. There can be a lot of pride in that statement. "ONE of those".......It puts ME--- and my preferences OVER someone elses. Sometimes, I've made the statement about quasi-silly things---- like todays- picture...... Ummmmm YES- that's my Spinning Wheel.
Yes, my Spinning (as in Sleeping Beauty, Rumplestiltskin, Little House on The Prairie...) type spinning wheel. I'm still a little shocked. I guess- now that I'm pretty comfortable with knitting- I just wanted to "step it up"... take it to the next level... experience a new challenge. Yes- spin my own yarn.
If you had suggested it may be possible- a year ago- that I'd be trying to spin--- I'd have LAUGHED in your face. Probably, not very nicely. And, I certanly would have thrown in a sarcastic comment or two- about my "high-heels " not being conducive to peddaling a spinning wheel.... or something to that effect. Yet- at the moment a spinning wheel sits in my dining room. And- yes, It's mine. ;)
I wish I could say this is my first little "come-uppence" when it comes to "Pride and Prejudice"... but- it's not. I remember thinking--- and TALKING about how I'd NEVER "Homeschool" my kids--- cause you know----- "those women" wear NO MAKE-UP, (:0) don't cut their hair- wear tennis shoes with long skirts...and only speak "King James".... then we decided our kids NEEDED to be homeschooled.......... (so we did, for 3 years-!!!)
Lets just say--- Not EVERYONE who homeschools meets my prejudiced "criteria"... though- I did meet some women I really came to areally appreciate- who DID! (well- and some kooks- but NOT as many as I thought!)
I can also remember- being absolutely convinced- that anyone who sent their child to public school- was NUTS, and neglectful of both their education, and their safety.....until- we realized that there were opportunities that my child would best have access to- in public high school!
Then, there is the whole...... "what kind of church do you go to " issue...... as a young Christian, if you didn't go to a church like MINE...(contemporary worship music- "teaching" style messages) I was pretty convinced you were missing out- and definitely in the wrong. A member of our church staff addressed the question of "Why are there so many Kinds of churches.." on his blog recently-( and the question- has challenged- and caused me to think- ever since.
Until, I became involved in MOPS International.... I thought your music, your teaching- your liturgical "style" had to be like mine- in order for you to be " a Christian"... otherwise, you were relegated to the "one of THOSE______" categories. I was pretty full- of "Pride (in my way) and Prejudice- (against yours)".
I'm really working hard- to maintain the "Big Picture" when it comes to Christianity. Please don't misunderstand, I believe there are "negotiables" and "non-negotiables". Jesus- gets to determine what those are- not me. He focuses on HIM being the only way to salvation. So, I try to do the same. I think we spend too much time- in our own "Pride and Prejudices" when it comes to the "negotiables"..... like worship music, syle of preaching/teaching, traditions, liturgical style....resources for and of ministry--- etc. (PUHLEEZE!)
I guess I see it this way: There is only ONE way to get to heaven- that's through Jesus.( based on His statement of this truth - not mine- see John 14- )
Then, I see a lot of flexibility- when it comes to our unique EXPRESSION of that faith. It's my opinion, that there are many different expressions of faith- that are equal in their value- to their unique congregations. I also believe- that this isn't an accident. See- My home church, meets my unique needs- and (I like to think) that I fill a unique "need" in that local body.... not just in spite of my unique qualities, but- because of them. Like pieces- of a puzzle- It's a good fit- for both.
But- honestly- do I think it would be for EVERYONE? Nope. Nor, do I think It has to be. I'm probably sensitive to this because I have family members who I know- probably would be distracted,(by "Youthful sounding music" or uncomfortable in a less that traditional (in STYLE) church. Yet- they have a need- to find God- and know the truth about Him, in a place where they feel a good "fit". I also find a precedence in scripture- Jesus spoke differently- to different people- based on who they were- to fishermen- he used "fishing" analogies to clarify the truth, to shepherds- he spoke of sheep.
Did his message change? Nope. Did His method? Yep.
There is a lot of talk in Christian circles- especially about approaches to "Doing Church"- some of which is helpful- some I think is just divisive. I think I draw the determining line here: When we think (about the negotiables) that it's "Our Way" or else- you're one of "Those people...."... Proud- or Prejudiced. I think it's divisive. Instead- I desire to appreciate the uniqueness in Christianity, as other "strokes- for other folks"...
Truth is- I think God gets "the Big Picture".... we each (each-type of Christ centered- church) have a passion (and a calling) for a certain "part" of God's puzzle, but throughout the whole- of Christianity- God ministers to the "Big Picture"---- one that takes into account- all the different people- that will need to be "fitted" into the puzzle- meeting them where they are- and creating a beautiful, and complete, mosaic of Faith.
There are 80+ year old people, who need Jesus- (and - honestly aren't part of the post-modern culture!) and they may not be open to the "rock n roll" church.... but, are their souls less important to God? Nope. Not one bit. There needs (desperately) to be a place for them- in Christianity. And- it's true- my teens would have a hard time- worshipping to music they found distracting- or distasteful. Are they less important? NOPE.
Baby Boomers- Gen Xers- whatever else we find as a label--- we live in a world that is INTERGENERATIONAL. Cross- Cultural. Unique. It's doubtful any ONE TYPE of church will be able to accommodate the differences in the "puzzle pieces".... yet- together- we can.
As a leader- in MOPS- I have been amazed at the different ways that God ministers- yet- the message is still the same. Christ- Christ Crucified, Christ resurrected, Our sin covered in Christ's sinless perfection, and sacrifice. Christ glorified in our lives.
When I see that spinning wheel in my living room, ( or the pile of old homeschool books in my basement- or the newsletter from my Son's public High school- or an ad from a "DIFFERENT" CHRIST centered church.....) I hope it reminds me of those things----Of my own " Pride and Prejudices".... and I hope it challenges me to know, and stand-up for the "non-negotiables".... and not waste time and effort on "The THOSE PEOPLE" statements- whether they are spoken, or just stored in my heart.....
'Cause- let's face it---- ya just never know- when your needs, or your desires may change--- and turn YOU into a "homeschooling, knitting, spinning , rock concert attending mother of Teens and Preschoolers"----- you know ;) .... "One of THOSE"! Or- you may be seen as one- just as you are. Right now, by someone else. (Maybe ME! ;) )

Third Day- no knittin.

My ipod holds equal parts "Sesame Street Sing along", "David Crowder"and "Third Day." With a bit of "U2", "Casting Crowns", "Mercy Me" and "Thomas The Tank Engine." I think there is also a bit of "Queen" and probably "CrazyTrain" by Ozzy Osbourne. If you think my "Playlist" sounds a like a psycho - combo, you should try balancing my life. ;)
I have the interesting task- of mothering 2 teens- AND a Preschooler, AND being A human with likes, dislikes- and needs, of my own. Queen and Ozzy Osbourne are NOT on my Ipod- for ME! Nor is "Sesame Street" or Thomas the Tank Engine"!
Having three sons- of varied ages- sometimes, (usually) and a spouse who frequently travels- for work....sometimes feels like living in a circus. Like, I'm spinning plates of different sizes- at different speeds- to different music. It makes me thankful for my tendancy towards ADD. Let's just say- that Potty training one child- while the another takes DRIVER'S TRAINING... is sometimes confusing- sometimes chaotic- and, NEVER boring.
It also poses some interesting challenges- and unique rewards. Last night was a good example of both- We went to a concert- for "Third Day" along with "David Crowder" some of my all time favorite music. My youngest- Noah- loves music- Mike, my oldest- LIKES music- my middle one loves it-and well- I absolutely adore- worship music... and corporate worship experiences.
So, I THOUGHT the concert was a great win all the way around- idea. Daddy was out of town... so I envisioned- a special Mom- n Guys Night- A chance for all of us to enjoy something TOGETHER.
Let's just say- not quite. At dinner- My middle son- felt sick- So we dropped him at home- thats $38. for a ticket- I HOPE someone else got to enjoy....then we made it to the venue----and it got stickier.....
While he's used to music at relatively loud levels- it was just beyond what Noah's little ears could tolerate- or enjoy. Which must have been evident to everyone around us- as he held his hands over his ears. It was amazing- to see how many sets of earplugs were offered- and squeezed into his tiny guy ears----- but to no avail---- he hated them.
Now- I'm "x " amount of dollars into a concert- with a preschooler- that wants to go home. Rides were offered for my oldest- but honestly- I wanted to stay. But NOT at the expense of my little guys ears.
Then, I had one of "those" parenting moments- the kind that makes you go--- "Wow, this kid is turning out so awesome--- and, it MUST be God... 'cause I'm quite sure I messed him up!"
Mike- offered to take Noah- out to the hallway- so I could stay and listen to the concert--- " 'cause Third Day is your favorite, Mom." We went out to the hallway- where the music reached an enjoyable level for Mr Noah's ears........ We set up with all of his well planned "accoutrements" coloring stuff- gameboy.....snacks, juice, blankie--- I even went into the shop and bought a couple of "chair-pads" for them to sit on...... then I went back into the concert.
I didn't last long. While the music was incredible---I just had a hard time- letting Mike- sit out of a concert- so I could go in..... I felt selfish. Not to mention- feeling like the "Queen of all Loser Mom's"....who brought a "baby" to a rock concert- that hurt his EARS.......and made her teenager watch him in the hallway- so she could "rock".
It really was a struggle. I wanted to stay- (and had spent a good chunk of change to do so!) BUT I wanted it to be enjoyable for all of us. And- honestly- I wanted to leave. It would have been easier- I was tempted to just be irritated- and blow the whole thing. 'Cause things just weren't turning out the way I thought they would.
Then, it happened-
Noah decided to do what Noah does, when there is music. He dances. There we were, looking quite a bit like a homeless family, camped out in the hallway. And Noah- asks- "Mommy--- Dance with me? I'll spin you!" It was the I'll spin you- that got we danced. The un- abandoned Mommy and Baby don't care bout the world- dancing that you do in the living-room, kind of dancing. Then he wanted to go into the concert... and out of the concert- and INTO the concert---- and dance some more--- and spin.
So- we did. And Mike? Well- he took pics- with a delighted---- "I made my Mom happy" look on his face.. (or- a "My Mom is NUTS" look....not really sure which! ;) Really, I could tell- he was thrilled. Like he knew he had made my week. Which He had. and so did Noah. ( Because- I know that someday- he won't want to dance with Mommy in public anymore. )
And, because- I know- that teenagers don't usually put their Parents wants- over their own..... but- mine did. Even if it was just for one night.
So- how was the concert? Well- I "heard" about half of it;) ------But- I'll never forget one minute of it. Besides- there are pics to prove it! ;0 (And a few CD's to re-live it!!!) But- I could have missed the whole thing- I could have stubbornly just LEFT. Or I could have selfishly just stayed in the concert-----I'm just glad that THIS time--- in my Extreme Mothering....I found a compromise--- that GOD blessed!
Dear Lord- I thank you, for these boys- please help Matt continue to feel better- and please bless Mike for his sacrifice for me last night--I pray you bless the work of DH's hands-- I love you Lord- and am so thankful for my family----amen!


Friday, February 17, 2006

So--- I knit.

Get up- make breakfast- clean it up.

Help locate items for school... get everyone off to school.

change diapers- wipe body parts....cook another meal.. clean up another mess....mop up the floor- feed the pets- do more laundry- cook more meals. clean up more dishes- argue with teenagers about their responsibilities....

Argue with a preschooler- about who is in charge. REALIZE I'm in a tug of war game with children.... and STOP "pulling the rope" (cause it always takes 2 to argue...)

Throw in a load of wash, fold a load of wash. Argue, some more.

Drive to about 13 different places- for 13 different reasons, arrive home- remember the 14th thing I was supposed to get- Drive around some more....

Cook another meal.... clean up another more laundry......

Actually, it's true- much of being a SAHM is REDUNDANT. Even, boring.

There are things that I will knowingly do today---- and recognize- that I will just have to do it all over again tomorrow.

Erma Bombeck says..."Cleaning house with small children is like shoveling snow before it stops snowing" (I absolutely loved, Erma!)

Erma's right- but it still has to be done. And- I have a problem with that.

See- I'm a "results" driven woman. While in "theory"- I enjoy process, in fact- I love PRODUCT.

Mothering doesn't work that way. Noses drip constantly- potty training is messy, floors will become covered in syrup-( ) often, at times when freshly washed. Laundry will be worn. Meals will be eaten. And all will need repreating tomorrow.

Sometimes , it feels like being stuck in the "Shampoo Sheol".(ummm and yes- sheol is another word for he**! )... you know- shampoo, rinse, repreat.... shampoo, rinse, repeat....shampoo, rinse repeat....
A never ending cycle.

So, I knit. No- really. I knit. I've also scrapbooked- read, studied- etc....

At the end of the day- I have an "accomplished task"... even if it's a few rows of knitting. With only a rare exception- (like someone playing jump-rope with my knitting- or the dog eating my needles- while in the project!) --- no one comes behind me- and "undoes" what I've done....The progress I make today- will be added to tomorrow. I look around- and sometimes get frustrated- with all I've done today- that will need to be "done over" tomorrow--- and in knitting- I can find a little PRODUCT.

Something that gets done, and stays done.

Mothering- caring for my home- and family- does NOT always show immediate results.

The bulk of my life is invested- "longterm". Into things and in ways- that will show their results- EVENTUALLY. Which , I am fully committed to. I thoroughly understand the value of "being there" for my kids. Of building trust, and supporting them by providing for their needs- and being "present" in their lives. I am honored to be their Mom- and I'm thankful to be able to stay home.....

But- I'm also human.

Sometimes- it drives me nuts. I've told my Husband- it's like someone erases the computer memory every day ( he works in the computer field) and everything he's done is erased. I've explained it to my kids- like this: Imagine they turn in their homework- and the teacher erases all their work- and hands it back the next day instead of a grade- it's a blank page. Sometimes- that's what it feels like.

So I knit. It's a creative activity that challenges me, (theres always more to learn) and provides a "Product" at the end of the day.

Well- and it's something to do to avoid shoveling snow before it stops!

Some people will think it's stupid- a waste of time, some will think I'm selfish- and ungodly because I should LOVE being home....(which I do- but m also honest about it's not being a panacea of bliss) and some will "get it".... I knit to balance my need for product- with my families need for long term investment-

It's a win- win situation.

What do you do?

Dear Lord- I thank you that you make it possible to stay home and care for my family- but sometimes- it's hard to keep the longterm goals in mind---- please help me to see your hand in all my work- and help me to enjoy the process of parenting, mothering and living in you!

I love you Lord- and thank you for the priviledge of serving you- every day!

But- ummm---- it WOULD be nice- if something I've cleaned would STAY clean! I love you Lord! amen

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Adjusted Valve- and Attitude.....

Reaching under the kitchen sink last get a garbage bag, I made an unpleasant find- soggy cardboard. This is not good.

Soggy cardboard- and wetness under the sink can ony mean a few things...

1) " Curious Noah" Has struck again.... finally figured out the cabinet locks- and made a "concoction" of chemicals from under the sink.... I smelled the sog---- Musty? Yes. Chemical ? No. (this is good... it means the mess won't probably end in a trip to the ER.)

2) There is a leak.

Something interesting, here- DH travels for work.... and seems to me, that he must be the glue that holds this home together- because everytime he leaves..... something goes awry. Springs a leak, or breaks down, or someone gets sick.

Honestly- it ticks me off. See, leaks and stuff- that's HIS job. Not mine. Where is he when I need him? WORK.

As soon- as the thoughts are in my head- I am reminded- yeah- I'm sure he planned it this way-----a huge conspiracy- loosening pipes- to cause me trouble- as soon as DH leaves... ok- yes THATS Nuts. As I reached for the wrench --- I realized I needed an attitude adjustment even more- than a pipe adjustment!

Apparently- that's what God intended- This time, it starts with a leak. Yipee.

I explore under the sink a bit--- I've fixed things under there before..... I try too tighten the screw in the handle of the valve----SPRAAAAAAAYYYYYY. Now, instead of a soggy drippy mess- I have a handle spraying (hot) water. I undo what I did. The spray abates. But, slight panic arises.

So, of course, I call DH. In my way beyond panic- CALM voice.. i ask.... "Where is the shut off valve for the kitchen sink..... the one that isn't under the sink??????"

DH Mentally traces the pipeline - and tries to tell me where it is.... and I bite his head off when he asks why. It's noisy in the background---- he's hundreds of miles away--- and I am demanding a schematic for our water-line- over the phone.... I know- I'm nuts. But what else can I do? Besides- I'm still not "adjusted" in my attitude - HE shoud be fixing this stupid leak. So, basically- I'm mad at HIM because the pipes are leaking.

After abruptly hanging up------probably because he couldn't magically fix the pipes thru the phone....

I used a screwdriver, tighted the handle- then shut off the water under the sink. " There will be no sink usage until Daddy is home...I announce, to the Boyz. "There, now we ALL suffer- because He's gone.... that'll teach him" I think to myself" ......Then, I remember- dishes. DISHES- DIRTY DISHES- a WAY full dishwasher full. No sink- no dishwasher- OR washing by hand......this is going to get NASTY. I'm going to have to DO something.

I don't care- I'm tired- I go to bed- (kind of) I will just have to call the plumber in the morning.... GREAT, I'll have to clean the kitchen. Can't have a plumber see my dirty kitchen.... this is getting worse.

I slept in the living room- so I could "hear" if the pipes fell apart.....( they actually DID do that before) No falling apart--- well- with the exception of me--- but only momentarily.

I made STRONG coffee this morning- then set about "giving it a shot"... (why wake/pay a plumber--- when I might be able to fix it myself?) i took a few minutes to pray---- and felt that attitude adjustment start to take hold... we're a TEAM... He's doing HIS job- (which at the moment- is the one he gets paid for) this is just a matter of overlap- OUR pipes need to be fixed--- the "designated pipe-fixer" is fulfilling another role- ...

I'll have to take a shot, myself- for our family "team".

Well- and to avoid having to clean the kitchen for "plumber company" ( yes- thats crazy- I know)

I googled " Leaking under kitchen sink"

I found this:

I followed the directions.....

And, it's done- dishwasher running- leak apparently stopped.

Know what? It felt pretty good. Sometimes I wonder if God allows these challenges... to make us realize the potential we have.... to solve problems, learn new things and find the help we need. And, as an opportunity to appreciate the other team members. To adjust our attitudes.

Appreciate DH? You thought I was just ticked? How did I get there? Well- cause- when He's NOT here- fixing what goes wrong--- etc- I realize how much He DOES do when He IS here! (trust me- he's had his oppotunities to be adjusted too)

See- we're not INDEPENDANT ( I just take care of MYSELF) in our marriage---- nor are we CODEPENDANT..(I take care of YOU) .. we're INTERDEPENDANT. We depend on each other. While, we DO have clearly defined areas of responsibility, - we overlap- and cover for each other, where necessary.

All of which, sometimes- requires an attitude adjustment. Interdependance- in THEORY--- sounds great- until a pipe leaks- and DH needs ME to fix it.....because He's WORKING.

Why? Because I'm human. - because- I want to only have to do my job- not anyone elses. (Like fixing the pipes) I guess- I want to be "part of a team" as long as I'm the one getting the help---- as long as everyone is doing what I need- or want. Yeah, I guess, I'm that I'm selfish.

Good thing God loves us enough- to "adjust" us occasionally!

Funny how a little leak- and experience with a wrench- can adjust so much in ME!

1 Cor 12:12-26

12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13For we were all baptized by[
c] one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.
14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

Dear Lord- Thnx for the attitude adjustment--- please help me to be a better team member--- and to serve- in Joy. I love you Lord- and thank you for my family "Team" and for reminding me how necessary we each are! I love you Lord- amen

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

20 Valentines-

20. 20 years. 20 Valentines Days. Unbelievable.

This is our 20th Valentines Day.

There have been so many now- of all sorts:

Pregnant Valentines Days.

Sick Valentines Days.

Nursing babies Valentines Days.

Valentines Days- when we fought.

Valentines Days when we "almost forgot"

Valentines Days where we ate in candlelight.

Valentines Days with expensive gifts- Valentines Days with just each other- and it was enough.

Different days, different gifts- different experiences, yet- still something the same-

Because we've shared them together-

Kyle- you're my favorite person in the world.

I'm so glad to be your Valentine.

Looking forward to as many as God chooses to bless us with-

your wife-

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

"Birch" For The "Booty-full"- FO- Update!!!!!

"Birch" For the "Booty-full" FO- Update!!!!
The stats:

Bulky Lace Stole- "Birch for the Booty-ful" (my own pattern-Rowan's beautiful "Birch" is triangular- I prefer NOT to have things point to the booty area! As mine is a bit "FULL"

Lace Pattern: Bernadin's Sampler "Perky Leaves Ground" from The Lacy Knitting of Mary Schiffman

Yarn: Knit Picks Panache- Alpaca, silk & cashmere blend- YUM. Color- Coal (appx 10 skeins)

Needles: US #10- Lantern moons- ebony.

I wanted something yummy- and warm---- to wear over a t- with jeans- or with a black dress- for special occasions... I also wanted to give the Panache a try- VERY glad I did! I use just under 10 skeins.

I'll post the dimensions after she's dry------- blocking under a fan for now-----(to hurry along her drying--- but mostly- to keep my kitties off- of her while drying--- they don't like to sit in fan- blowing range. So far- it's the only thing I've found to keep them off my blocking projects!)

BTW- I'll be picking up blocking wires this afternoon- as I ran out of pins----and had to "Improvise" a bit in my blocking technique..... as you'll notice in the pics... This one may need to be re-blocked. We'll see.

The lace pattern was simple- 10 stitch 16 row repeat- there are 10 repeats per "tale". Two tales, then grafted together.

I'll post the complete pattern if anyones interested- for now- I'm getting ready for Valentines day!

Monday, February 13, 2006

How Curious George Saved Noah's life Posted by Picasa Curious? George was. Apparently, so is Noah.
I keep telling myself- he's not bad.... he's curious, creative, innovative, but, what I see at the moment is, he's messy. Maximum mess. Messious Maximus.

Three guesses as to what the ooze is that Noah is dancing in.....Is it:
1. Gorilla Glue? (Thankfully- Not.. I suppose it COULD have been worse...--although I wouldn't have had to chase his stickiness through the kitchen, if it HAD been...)
2. A Bodily Fluid or product, animal or human? (Nope-not this time, that would have SMELLED much worse)
3. An entire bottle of syrup poured onto my kitchen floor, creating Noah's own Olympic Speed Skating rink? BINGO---- You win!
It began, with two minutes of peace and quiet. I should have known.

I was in the living room, right next to and adjoining the kitchen, knitting away. " Teletubbies" blared in the background, I had a Mom's Intuitive moment that suddenly reminded me--- "Quiet is not good" I also knew- Noah's lack of response to my calling him, was not equally, not good.

3 steps into the kitchen, my feet felt funny.

5 steps in, and I saw what you did, above.

In 6 steps I decided I had to kill him....
Then, I saw his shirt. GEORGE. I changed my mind. Curious George Had saved Noahs life

Why? Because, yesterday, during our "GOOF DAY", we went to see "Curious George"

George had "Noah" written all over him. George is like any normal preschooler. So is Noah. They're naturally curious, and uninhibited. If the sticky syrup feels good- they slide in it. Our whole family saw Noah in the movie- we laughed on the way home... thinking of the little moments- where Noah has gotten himself into scrapes. Like last Valentines day, when he broke 16 eggs into my carpet- 'cause he was making "eggies" for our special dinner... 'cause he's my "helper". (I had left him with his brothers for 20 minutes to pick up a few treats for our dinner... but, the truth is, he could have done it when I was home- just as easily!)

Did I really want to kill him? Well, not KILL him.... but squash him like a bug emotionally?


20 oz. of syrup, spead across my floor, does NOT make me happy. It makes me furious.
But- I saw his shirt. GEORGE. In an instant God ( I know it was God, because the woman in my head- was heading for the executioners hood!) reminded me, George isn't BAD, he's CURIOUS. So is Noah.

Truth is--- I could have ranted and raved. (I have before) But, the floor would have still been a mess, the syrup would have been covering him... and I'd have felt awful. Instead, in a moment of lucidity, that also could only have been God, I calmly said... "Noah? What did you do? " to which he replied " I skating."

I told him syrup is for waffles, not skating,
and that there are no games today, then had to figure out how to clean up the mess- before the dog went into a maple sugar induced coma....AND I had to keep them both from spreading invisible sticky footprints all thru the house. I decided on stripping the preschooler- making him stand on a towel, while I mopped up what I could.... before putting him in the tub. (Noah, alone in a tub while I'm MOPPING would be a bad thing...actually, preschoolers, alone in a tub is ALWAYS a bad thing!)

Noah must have sensed how close he came to death today- as he managed to stand (wiggle and sit ) on that towel, without leaving it for 10 minutes. Something we BOTH would have thought impossible- prior to this!

We all survived, thanks to Curious George, with help, from God.

FYI: When Faced with a "Curious" problem like this of your own.... prior to the actual mopping of said syrup--- I recommend you use a spatula to scrape as much up as possible- this will eliminate the creation of "mop doom"...(you don't want to know) and will enhance your cleaning experience.

Dear Lord, I love you- and this child (all three!) that you gave me, please help me to always see them as your wonderful creation. Please, give me wisdom, to discipline them, and patience to guide them. And Lord- thanks for not letting me kill them. amen.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Surprise- I'm Stubborn Over here- too!

Surprise- I'm Stubborn over here- too.

I suppose it's true.

I am stubborn.

Because I am stubborn.... I have "Bouts".

Today- I had one. A LOOOOOOOONG one. A "BOUT" All CAPS. See, "webrings" I want to join.

Most stipulate that the html code for the ring- be visible at all times... but NOT like February 9ths post- of "Buttons".. each day I blog---- my poor webring buttons would move further down the page- becoming- even now- USELESS.

HTML editing is only available on MSN Spaces- during edit blog entry mode.

Hence the total absense of "Buttons" in the sidebars of MSN Space bloggers.......

Honestly- It's embarrassing how many different ways I tried to circum-navigate this... an hour (or three) here- a few more there.... I finally went as far as to set up an entire NEW blog- on BLOGGER....

You can visit--- but- I'm not happy with it. Let me know what YOU think. (comments are easier over there----"lurker lucys!")

However- It DOES have Buttons--- and I DID spend hours copying my previous posts- to it---------a pseudo-back-up archive- in effect.......

BUT, the spacing is messed. The blogger navigation bar--- blocks the banner- and looks crummy. There is no photo album.... separate photo hosting...which I'll ALSO have to figure out......

Am I capable of fixing it??? Probably, eventually.

But- more importantly, am I capable of LETTING IT GO????????

That's the hard part for me---letting go - See, I know how to "dig in" and work till something gets done---( or someone gets dead;) It's the giving up- cause it's not worth the effort---- that, I don't get. Well, not easily.

See, today, was Saturday. WAS. I stayed home.....cleaned house, put away laundry, made the teens clean--- (kind of--- they were "miraculously inspired"---- after they realized they really weren't going anywhere until they could walk thru their bedroom without injury.) And, spent hours frustrated with blogging. Yeah- journaling, blogging- it's therapeutic. Unless you're STUBBORN. Let's just say- it wasn't therapeutic- TODAY.

In between "cleaning bouts" and "blogger bouts"......

I blew an entire day with my family.

DH works- HARD. He's a phenomenal guy, excellent at what he does--- and he's "head's down" on a MAJOR project for work.... he also travels.... so ,time to just "Hang" is at a premium. Next weekend is booked. This one should have been down time. Instead- WORK.

Told ya, I'm stubborn.

But, I'm not stupid. This is it---- I'm leaving blogger alone---- and web-rings- and buttons until Monday!

Tomorrow is Sunday. We get up early---- (well I do ) then rush around like maniacs- getting ready- go to church..... worship. worship. It's like the ultimate letting go. One I like to do. After church--- we do dinner out---

Then we'll GOOF OFF.

All Day.


Maybe a movie---- (Noah wants to see "Curious George")

See- I'm stubborn, but not stupid. This afternoon- in mid "BOUT" I got the picture. My 16 year old came down stairs----- from cleaning his room....saying-

"Mom, I found something in my room that will make you cry."

NOT something a mother of 3 sons- EVER wants to hear.

He was carrying a VERY old "previously peach" colored, cotton knit blanket... or what was left of one. His "Stinky One" from his first "Big boy bed"..... never slept without it. It did, btw- make me cry.

I know- it's cliche----- but- wasn't it REALLY just yesterday?

There won't be many more weekends for him to be home--- he'll be in college- way too soon.... what will he remember? Our clean house? (umm, NOPE- cause it's still not clean!) My Awesome blog ring membership? The artisitic layout of Mom's blog?

Uh----NO. Hello. I said, he's 16.

Will Noah remember- my "Accomplishment" after hours of work? Nope, he'll remember we read the ABC dog book between laundry loads.... that's about it.

What about My middle son? Will he remember the cool video game spot he had in his "sweet" room? Nope. But, he'll remember- that I volunteered all night at his school carnival.. and goofd with his friends- in a non-embarrassing way. (mostly)

A few years from now, will DH and I look back at how cool my blog was? (or how neatly the spacing was?) or- how clean the house was? I doubt it. We'll be glad to be together--- ( I like him, he puts up with my crap.) sorry-for the language, but it's TRUE!

Nah, we'll remember- how we learned--- the hard way- how fast time goes by.

See- I'm stubborn, but I can learn.

I am. God is patient, and so gently- (well, as gently as He can, and still get my attention!) reminds me with "Stinky One's... that time is precious. And short.

So tomorrow, we're "OFF DUTY".


Dear Lord-

I Love you- and I love my family. Please help me to not squash them with the weight of my stubbornness. I don't want to waste my time, on things that won't matter. PLease help me to accomplish what I need-
and LET GO, when it's time. I do love you Lord- amen

Psalm 39:4-7

4 "Show me, O LORD, my life's end
and the number of my days;
let me know how fleeting is my life.
5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Each man's life is but a breath.

6 Man is a mere phantom as he goes to and fro:
He bustles about, but only in vain;
he heaps up wealth, not knowing who will get it.

7 "But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.

February 10 post ;) now I'm current

February 10
Needs and Wants..... Oh the trauma---- for a momma.....cell phones are NOT a convenience item... they are a necessity. Huh???
Kids are awesome. They say what they think. I like it.
I'm teaching at I "get" to teach there a couple times a month. I love it.

Interesting thing..though... the more I teach--- the more I learn.

Last weeks lesson was about "needs versus wants" It was based on Psalm23

"The Lord is my Shepherd, He gives me what I need."

The Point: God promises to give us what we need, not necessarily, everything we want.

I had a bunch of stuff on the table... cell cards.....twinkie box, oranges....make-up, car keys....

The goal was to practice identifying "Needs" from "Wants"....

Here's where it got interesting.....they were with me--bling jeans- not a need....twinkies--- not a need- (I'm just NOT mature enough in Christ to put Chocolate on that table------ I don't WANT it to be a WANT....) healthy food? - (oranges) yes, a need....- Until , we got to cell phones--- they ABSOLUTELY could not identify a cell phone as a want--- or a convenience item.... they were adamant. I even said--- "OK... YOU need a cell phone-- (or your parents do...) But- I'm telling you----- I don't. It's a convenience." After some debate..... they caved... but barely.

It's funny how our wants and conveniences--- so easily become "pseudo-needs"..... We're great at convincing ourselves.. aren't we?

Like cell pones.... or cable.... or broadband... or clothes for success.. or insert your item here__________...

Honestly- I have those things. I'm NOT saying they are bad. I like having them. But I KNOW they are conveniences... wants. These things are not promised to me by God.

I'm not a sugar-coater when it comes to the Bible--- and I think it's important to help kids get into the Bible- as a resource for daily living... and finding asnwers to hard questions... like if God PROMISES to give what we NEED... then why are believers--- homeless.... or hungry... or starving and sick?

Mother Theresa said it this way....

"When a poor person dies of hunger, it has not happened because God did not take care of him or her. It has happened because neither you nor I wanted to give that person what he or she needed. "

and like this....
"You and I, we are the Church, no? We have to share with our people. Suffering today is because people are hoarding, not giving, not sharing. Jesus made it very clear. Whatever you do to the least of my brethren, you do it to me.Give a glass of water, you give it to me. Receive a littlechild, you receive me. "

I said it like this:

God gives us all that we need- and then we have plenty to share----- together- we have enough- when we share. But- when we use all of our money.. time talents.... to get (do) what we WANT.... we may have little left to give.. then, others may go without.

It doesn't mean we can't have anything..... but it does mean.... we can't have EVERYTHING.....

Sometimes God will just keep saying the same things to you--- in different ways---- different places--- until you get it.....I recieved the following e-mail today....

Wants Vs. Needs
(from an Jean Chatsky Money tips e-mail)
Do you know the difference between a want and a need? I think that very few things are really needs: medicine, food, the roof over your head, gas for the car that you drive back and forth to work. There's nothing wrong with buying the things you want IF you can afford them-but what if you know before you plunk your credit card down on the counter that it's a stretch? Then don't plunk. If your feet take you into the store and then into the dressing room and then to the counter, open your mouth and tell the salesperson you'd like to put the items on hold. Then leave. If, 24 hours later, you're not thinking about the pants or skirt or dress or whatever it was you almost bought, then you know for a fact that you didn't need it. Chances are you didn't want it very much either.

Jean Chatsky, Mother Theresa--- Jesus..... they make it sound so easy to decipher----- and while I laugh about the kids--- having trouble knowing the difference.... what about me?????


I went to Meijers this morning.... I NEEDED some breakfast items--- for my guys..... I came out with $100 bucks of stuff... some I needed... some I didn't -- mostly for the kids...but- I thought I needed it at the time.......didn't I?????

Money---- time-----energy---- care--- all of our resources are limited......but- if we SHARE, WE HAVE PLENTY.... I have so much I could give.......if I gave a little less to myself, in the form of my wants. The truth is--- I LOVE to give.... I like to delight people-- with loving gifts.....with attention, with care.

I have a friend who made me laugh- she said I'm like Tinkerbell.... I like to make wishes come true..... with a wave of my wand..... but maybe I need a refocus---- onto giving what others NEED...... first.

Is it really about money??? I doubt it. People are pretty quick to cut a check... when there is a need....But, what about time???? Talents???? Is there something I could share, that I'm not already??? How about you????? Honestly---- I find "fundraising" much easier to accomplish, than "life raising".... people who'll invest- their lives- and hearts.... with a check written , from their personal TIME, account. I mostly don't FEEL like I have much to give here---- not much time... not much energy.. not much sensitivity... but I know this--- I want to give what I do have. Then, I'll just leave it up to God- what He does with it.

He's been known to do some cool things with just a kids lunch.

Dear Lord- I love you, and want you to help me see the "cell phones" in my life.... the things I think are needs--- that are really wants- I could give up--- to help someone me to enjoy what you've given... to hold it loosely--- knowing that ownership--- belongs to you..and it's my priviledge to share...
I love you Lord, and thank you for allowing me to learn thru teaching....Please help me see areas of time--- or talent , (whether I recognize them or not!) or money, that I have, that could be shared---..

Ummm and Lord--- at this point- I'm keeping my cell--- though, it's really not a need- but I WANT to be able to be reached by my kids and spouse.....however I'm checking about a better "plan." I'm not using all my minutes. ....amen.

Yeah--- and I'm trying not to get a big head--- but it's better than 0!!!

My blog is worth $5,080.86.How much is your blog worth?

SO, $5,080.86. When do I get my money??? I promise to GIVE it.....

Looking for Second Socks for Stumps?
click here-----!9E93166BA3D8321!800.entry

feb 8

Further catch up-------- man a week of sickness really puts you behind!
Picture pages, picture pages... time to get your paper and your crayons.....

Sorry- Captain Kangaroo hi-jacked my blog....


In a relevant culture--- I've just jumped the shark--- and landed in irrelevancy. Sorry.


Back to updates:

Pics below are long over due!!!!!

Another thnx to my SP7----- for the before mentioned pkg of fibery love....

You can see the gorgeous purple silk.... the lavander... the soap.. (Did you knit the little bag?--- way cute!)
the chocolate----which I now can eat without guilt... as I've posted a pic!)

You can't see the sweet card- in which she talks about my "heart work" as of late...... truth is---- I'm ALWAYS doing a lot of heart work.... interesting thing about walking with God---- He's always involved..... showing Himself--- and stuff about myself---- and tweaking things... never boring!

You can also see the felted bag my sis in law sent me--- adorable- thnx again! I'm now the proud owner of 2 Missie originals!!!!!!!!!!

You've got to check out her ETSY SHOP( link below) ---------- she makes the best stitch markers---- though.... the banana/monkey ones are gone---- and would have been perfect for my trip to see Curious George!!!!!! (scroll down for the monkeys) (etsy shop)

Also- you can see My completed "TEMPTING" It looks right--- with the exception of the ribbon.... (which has proved to be a pain in the behind to find--- everywhere local carries the hanah silk in 7/8" not the wider widths---- adn LOADS of the online sellers only offer them in huge rolls- for $40 and over,.... I only need like 3 1/2 yards! Anyway---- wide robbon was purchased from here- (in case you ended up at my blog by googling "Tempting" and will need Hanah Silk ribbon for completion!

I made the lg.... which fits- but- honestly--------- I'm not thrilled with the fit. I think it's better suited to skinny women.....bummer. I'll try it on and take a picture with the new ribbon-- then will decide.

Above and behind all the completed goodies---- you can see a design project I'm working on---- let's call it "Birch for Booty-ful Women" I've long been considering and purchased the Rowan Mag- twice--- to make the infamous "Birch" theres just something I love about it's look.... however- in practicality---- after 3 boys.. a triangular shawl as this one---- isn't the most attractive on--- basically- they'd point to the "booty" which I avoid doing at all cost.

So- I'm using the "Perky Leaves Ground" Pattern from "The Lacy Knitting of Mary Schiffman"

I wanted something yummy- sof- and warm... so cast on with knit-picks- Panache in Coal-- (If you haven't tried it--- do it- It's fabulous!) -on big size 10 Lantern Moons....(Ebony- nice for this project...)

I Cast on 55- with a "Cable Cast On" Which allows 2 GS on each side... I then basically knit up 5 yummy skeins- then transferred to addi turbos- as a stitch holder--- I then cast on the "Second tail" ... I'll decide and experiment with the join later... I'm thinking about adding a simple knit on border of "Mother's Handkerchief Edging" also from the same book---- the repeat, of 8 rows... which should line up nicely with the 16 row repeat in the "Perky Leaves"....

So that's my knitting catch-up---- I'm feeling better---- and will post more content later-

Dear Lord--- Thnx for helping me feel better--- being sick- DOES make me appreciate being well so more more! I also thank you for the the Heart work we do together---- you are incredible Lord- and I love you! Amen.

feb 7

February 07
Second Sock Syndrome for Stumps... A knitting drive for amputees!
Second Sock Syndrome .... a knitters bane--- the root of much angst and knitting guilt. (OK, maybe a bit of melodrama... but you know--- I'm good with that!)

I believe I have found the cure.

Second Sock Syndrome for Stumps. (and mittens, gloves- slippers!) tag line: "Half a pair for me- perfect for an amputee!"

I'm in the process of contacting organizations of support for amputees- looking to partner handknitters- with a source for distribution....

What if- our incomplete pairs... were perfect gifts for amputees? What if, instead of guilt there was giving?

Lets do it! Besides- if you've signed up for the remarkable "Yarnharlot's" Knitting Olympics... you may be good to go!

What we'll need: Second Sock Syndrome for Stumps

1) a resource for distribution... (I'm researching- but if YOU have a contact with a hospital or organization--- that would be wonderful! ( you can e-mail me here: soltrcy at aol dot com- PLEASE put SSSS in the subject line)

2) A method of organization- (I'd suggest items to be placed- clearly labeled with item name, fiber content, size and L or R where applicable into a zip lock bag, with a note of encouragement and blessing from the knitter let's make this personal and loving!)

3) A button..hmmm and a CONTEST... (gotta have it!) Start sending your button ideas asap--- gee.... maybe the winner will recieve SOCK YARN! How about koigu, regia.... etc? We'll close the button contest on Feb 23.

4) PR---- POST about it--- link to it--- e-mail your knitting groups about it......!

5) YOUR handknit one-of- a kind items...... SOCKS, MITTENS, GLOVES, SLIPPERS.

I'm a TEAM player----I am sure there are loads of details we'll have to bump out--- please post your ideas and suggestions--- YOU'LL make this SSSS Drive GREAT!


Dear Lord- I know people struggle thru the process of adjusting to an amputation, I also can see the experiences of some amputees as inspirational.... I hope this project can communicate love- thoughtful care and comfort for someone who experiences an amputation....please help me be sensitive- and smart in this project's planning and completion... and help others catch the idea! amen

Feb 6

February 06
catching up----
Feeling better- Aleve seems to work better than ibuprophen for me....

However I'm now being hit with some stomache thing... so post will be short....
I finished Tempting Sweater- actually, not crazy about the fit. (Or the fat I should say...)

My Fibergod- daughter recieved, and liked her pressies! Yay. And- just for the stalkers out there----I left an AMOUNT (undeterminable) of time before posting about it.

I also recieved a terrific pkg from my SP7! On friday there was an adorable heart covered padded pkg in my mail box-----

Stuffed with wonderful goodies! GORGEOUS Purple silk yarn..... chocolates- a sweet card... lavander flowers, and knitted pouch with a bar of yummy frankincense and myrrh soap! I'll post pics tomorrow- just feeling ucky at the moment----- but also thankful!

I also rec'd 2 sweet e-cards from my pal from last go round of SP--- she's a doll- and SUPER TALENTED... to see her "skills".

More of a post tomorrow- for now crashing on the couch- btw- between this week and last- I've decided- I HATE THIS COUCH.

However, the Steelers did win.


Feb 2 post- MSN-

February 02
Today- a PSA... on TMJ...TMD....
Let's just say- I haven't let the couch all day.

Let's also say I did not knit. At all.

Could there be a problem? Yes- a lovely little visitor- that hasn't been to see me in quite a while.


What is it?

See the article copied below---- click the link for more....

But let me tell you- bottom line? It hurts. It hurts to close my mouth, it hurts to open my mouth, it hurts to chew, it hurts to lay down.... yeah- It hurts.

Funny thing, I have a big mouth, constantly in motion- has been a "curse" and a blessing since I was the moment? Not so much. No talking- I'm just mumbling thru my teeth. I'm taking Ibuprophen, using'll be better tomorrow- I'm sure, I could go to the dr for some stronger meds--- but I just don't like to feel drugged.... so I'll enjoy applesauce and ice cream for dinner, take some more ibuprophen, then go to bed.....exciting day huh?

Well, I'm getting some rest anyway. I think I'll give knitting a shot, while we wait for pizza. (for my guys, pizza in the blender- NOT sounding very good.)

Dental Health:Temporomandibular Disorders (TMD)
Temporomandibular disorders (TMD) occur as a result of problems with the jaw, jaw joint and surrounding facial muscles that control chewing and moving the jaw.
What Is the Temporomandibular Joint?
The temporomandibular joint is the hinge joint that connects the lower jaw (mandible) to the temporal bone of the skull, which is immediately in front of the ear on each side of your head. The joints are flexible, allowing the jaw to move smoothly up and down and side to side and enabling you to talk, chew, and yawn. Muscles attached to and surrounding the jaw joint control the position and movement of the jaw.
What Causes TMD?
The cause of TMD is not clear, but dentists believe that symptoms arise from problems with the muscles of the jaw or with the parts of the joint itself.
Injury to the jaw, temporomandibular joint, or muscles of the head and neck – such as from a heavy blow or whiplash – can cause TMD. Other possible causes include:
Grinding or clenching the teeth, which puts a lot of pressure on the TMJ
Dislocation of the soft cushion or disc between the ball and socket
Presence of osteoarthritis or rheumatoid arthritis in the TMJ
Stress, which can cause a person to tighten facial and jaw muscles or clench the teeth

What Are the Symptoms of TMD?
People with TMD can experience severe pain and discomfort that can be temporary or last for many years. More women than men experience TMD and TMD is seen most commonly in people between the ages of 20 and 40.
Common symptoms of TMD include:
Pain or tenderness in the face, jaw joint area, neck and shoulders, and in or around the ear when you chew, speak or open your mouth wide
Limited ability to open the mouth very wide
Jaws that get "stuck" or "lock" in the open- or closed-mouth position
Clicking, popping, or grating sounds in the jaw joint when opening or closing the mouth (which may or may not be accompanied by pain)
A tired feeling in the face
Difficulty chewing or a sudden uncomfortable bite – as if the upper and lower teeth are not fitting together properly
Swelling on the side of the face
Pleasant, huh? All my symptoms are highlighted- so far no swelliing- yay!

Dear Lord-
please help me- I ask you to heal me, and help me deal with the pain in a way that honors you, at the moment, It's making me cranky.please help me not take it out on everybody within distance...
I love you Lord- amen

January archive- MSN Spaces

Blog archive: January, 2006

January 31
Mom. Mom? Mom! Moooooom. Mommy? Mother. MOM!
I'm not sure how it works.

There is this interesting phenomena in language. Nuance.

Mom. It's a noun. It's a title. But- every Mom knows- there is a lot more communicated- in nuance. It's also a name I awaited being called for what seems like an eternity. I was so happy the first time my "baby" (now 16!) said "Da"....and had a clue what he was saying... the delight on DH's face, the pride of being recognized..... I loved it. I also knew- that developmentally- "Da" comes before "Ma"- So I was up NEXT!

Impatient- and excited- as usual.. I took my hands--- and gently tried to "help" that little guy turn the "Da" into a "Ma"..(he already HAD half of it!) ..slippery little things, those baby didn't work. Eventually, I had my "mom"ent. I felt like I had been recognized as the lost queen of the universe. Mom. Mommy. Mother. Ma. A tickly, giggly smile welled up from deep inside, every time I heard it. It's probably been a million times since then, that I've heard it.

Sometimes- I still feel the same. Sometimes not. My children are mastering the language. At 16, 13 and almost 4- they have learned "nuance". The same thing, said different ways... with a slightly different inflection.... Wow. What a difference it makes.

There's a high pitched, pain filled, screech of "MOM!!!" that every Mother recognizes on hearing alone, is tinged somewhere with blood, bruise or bump. The sing -song... Mom. Mom, MOM. Of a child, jealous of the telephone. The" Mo-ther " (2 syllables almost equal stress- slightly more on the first with a downward lilt)..... of a teen disgusted with someone--- usually me.

There's the "Mommy!" Of a preschooler, welcoming me home from a trip to the grocery store. The "MOM!" of a tattle, about to share a tale...The monotone "mom" the precedes an "I've got to tell you something- don't get mad" of a teens confession.....(usually report card- induced at my house..)

Every time I hear the word--- I know- some response- is to be elicited.... an action, an emotion, something, from me. However- what ever the elicited one---there is in every response... first a tiny tinge of pride" Mom" yep- that's me. They drive me nuts- those boys--- they break stuff- they make messes, they don't listen, they DO listen....and when they say "MOM" it's me they're talking about. (don't believe everything they say though!)

Yeah, sometimes that sense of pride- is followed with irritation, frustration, anger, fear, concern, annoyance... so many things----dependant on my role in responding...but- I have to admit- there are only 2 other titles by which I am known, that come anywhere near as satisfying.

"Child of God", "Kyle's wife". and finally "Mom" yep- that's me.

Dear Lord-
Thank you for calling me yours- I am so glad to be able to cry out to you- like my "guys" do to me.... thnx for not becoming irritated- or frustrated when you hear "that tone" in my voice-----the whining- complaining, tattling tones...thank you for answering when I call you. And for being right in your response- ALWAYS- (unlike me!) I also just want to thank you for the priviledge of being- Wife- and Mom..... It amazes me- that you'd want to use me to serve you at all....messy and imperfect as I am...please help me- to minister here, well, with excellance and joy. I love you Lord- amen.

PS---- help me remember this- the next time I want to kill them all....!

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January 30
community. living life, together.
Community- It's everywhere. Isn't it?

I "Googled" it.... about 2,350,000,000 "hits" ! Apparently "Community" is about every 10th word on the internet. OK- maybe not every tenth word, but certainly high on the search list.
2,350,000,000 "hits" equals 2,350,000,000 places to find community. Then, Community- is everywhere! Right? Maybe, maybe not.

2,350,000,000 "hits" does prove one thing- we're- as a society, looking for "Community".

What are we looking for? Are we looking for what the dictionary defines as Community? I checked- I doubt it.

com·mu·ni·ty (kə-myū'nĭ-tē) n., pl. -ties.
A group of people living in the same locality and under the same government.
The district or locality in which such a group lives.
A group of people having common interests: the scientific community; the international business community.
A group viewed as forming a distinct segment of society: the gay community; the community of color.
Similarity or identity: a community of interests.
Sharing, participation, and fellowship.
Society as a whole; the public.
A group of plants and animals living and interacting with one another in a specific region under relatively similar environmental conditions.
The region occupied by a group of interacting organisms.
Am I just looking to live in a locality under the same government? No.
Am I looking for common interests? Sometimes, but honestly- a lot of people thinking the same things- doing the same things... BORING.
Am I just looking to be"labeled" and identified as a part of a whole? Since I put "labeled" into quotation marks... you may have already guessed my answer to that one, NO. I'm pretty anti- labeling, I don't appreciate many of the assumptions that come from being labeled- in any manner. I've not found a label yet - that perfectly described- anything, that could be likewise applied to another, without variance.

As for the rest of the definition, I don't think those are answers that explain 2,350,000,000 mentions of "Community"online alone! They just don't have the draw. So, what are we looking for?

Honestly- without boast- and with a lot of thankfulness- I think- we're looking for what I experienced this weekend. We want to live life, together.

I spent most of the weekend with my "chosen family" I have a family I was born into- which I love dearly- and I've been blessed to find a family of friends, too. We "do life, together" We laugh together- we cry together- we tease each other- we push each other to be more- we inspire each other to know more- of each other- and of God. We have a common interests and passions- the primary of which , is God. Knowing Him better. And we share other common passions- outdoors- learning, caring, people, ministry, worship, justice, a strong love of the truth.

There are also big differences in our- "family community" differences of personality, background, employment, age, temperament, perspective and season of life. There is no way to adequately describe ALL of how this plays out. But, I can say this- we've learned- (a lot of times the hard way) how to appreciate and learn from our differences, how to complement each others weaknesses- and even compensate for them. One part helping and strengthening the other. We really are stronger together, than we are apart.

It's more than a team. But, it's like one. It's more than a "group," but we are one. It's more than a therapy group- but we've helped each other. It's more than a Biblestudy, but we study together. (and argue about it) When one of us hurts- we all do. When one rejoices- we all do. When one needs help- we do what we can. We are in each others business, by INVITATION. We love each others kids, by choice. It's messy, it's complicated, we hurt each other-forgive each other, we bless each other, it's wonderful.

It's community. Community- is relationships. Relationships that grow history. Relationships that weather storms, and tell tales later of beating the storm and making it back to harbor.

It's also eating chicken, begging for potato salad...playing 80's name that tune- even if the game sucked... (it's lame- don't buy it) it's celebrating a thirteenth birthday of each child in the group- in a special way--- and being amazed together- when one turns 18....cause you've witnessed the many near deaths that "child" has had at the hands of their's being at weddings, funerals, engagements, births, fundraisers, moving days, adoptions, hospitals, parties, It's driving 7 hours to be together. It's crying when you leave- 'cause you want to stay. THAT'S Community.

In case you're wondering---- yeah- my weekend was THAT good.

Community- a description from the Bible:
Acts 2
The Fellowship of the Early Believers
2:42 They were devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship,93 to the breaking of bread and to prayer.94 2:43 Reverential awe95 came over everyone,96 and many wonders and miraculous signs97 came about by the apostles. 2:44 All who believed were together and held98 everything in common, 2:45 and they began selling99 their property100 and possessions and distributing the proceeds101 to everyone, as anyone had need. 2:46 Every day102 they continued to gather together by common consent in the temple courts,103 breaking bread from104 house to house, sharing their food with glad105 and humble hearts,106 2:47 praising God and having the good will107 of all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number every day108 those who were being saved.

Dear Jesus-

I know that these relationships are precious gifts- from you- thank you Lord- for so much. I pray we'll continue to grow in relationship- with you- and each other. I pray we'll pay the price of messes and pain we cause each other- because the benefits- are so much greater. I also know, that there are so many- who haven't found community- I pray that anyone who finds this prayer- would have the courage to reach out- to connect- to risk- to try again if they need to--- and to keep trying until they can find and experience community- first with you , Lord- then with others--- I love you Lord- amen.
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January 27
It's Friday- Time to goof with my family and friends.
Just a few updates- I know- I've been pretty content "heavy" this week---

Knitting- well- YEAH. (rolls eyes) But- ummm finished objects? Not too many. One, I can't post about---- it's a SURPRISE. The Embossed Leaves socks? Well- I solved the Koigu dilemma- I got bored. besides- I've TECHNICALLY made almost 2 FULLY. Thats a PAIR. Right? I'll get back to them.

My FiberGod Mother sent me a great treat!

A Perfectly great Black bag with- yes- fuschia trim! (My fav) But wait- There's MORE!
Tucked inside--- Chocolates- (can you say- MINE all MINE?)
2 Skeins of recycled silk--- I'm currently scouring the internet for the perfect pattern for!
AND Bamboo Needles! I'm good to go- project, bag and tools- and chocolates....

On a follow up to Christmas- in the front-of the pic- you can see my "Heat pack" (red with cute sheepies) made by my SIL @ It's been glued to- and "saving" my head all week! I love it! (I've been having miserable headaches everyday! ) THNX again Missie! She has directions on her blog- if you'd like to make one!

I ALSO got a sweet e-card from my SP7! Hmmm... I'll be a "Spoiled Knitter Brat "soon!----

Thats it- its a big weekend for us- friends (including some well loved out of towners) are all getting together- for pretty much the whole weekend- to totally goof off.. and be together! Can't WAIT!
ttfn. says tigger.


ENTIRE ENTRY YESTERDAY......Rejection--- blah blah---

I got an e-mail - Yahoo Groups having trouble---- denied everybody.

Gotta be careful.... sometimes what FEELS like rejection- IS, in FACT... a misunderstanding!

SO- Now I'm in---
Wanna join? If they let me in--- it should be even easier for you!
But- yeah- it's for KNITTING! You can check it out here:

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January 26
Access Denied. A new milestone in my online life...or... I'm a loser... pick your title.
It was bound to happen sooner or later. It's not like it's the first time I've experienced it... but man, it still stings. What? REJECTION. This wasn't even a major rejection....this was a nameless, faceless rejection, rejection without explanation.

I "applied" for an online "group"... and, for the first time-(--) My membership was denied. OUCH. Hey- who ever creates the group- makes the rules--- and picks the members. I'm fine with that. But, I'm human. Humans' aren't wired to LIKE rejection. When rejected... I first respond with questions.... like: What? Aren't I "GOOD ENOUGH?" or "Did I do something wrong?" and the (usually ) unspoken ...."Why don't they LIKE me? For me- the questions usually give way pretty quickly ,to anger. Then my response is more like... "sucks to be you... your loss...."

Hello, my name is Bravado. That part of me that says--- "You can't hurt me....'cause I don't CARE what you think. " Is a defense mechanism. I know. Like- when you're playing "mercy" in Jr High... and you dig your fingers into your "partners" hands as hard as you can... all the while, feeling their hands crushing yours-nails digging into skin.... waiting for one of you to yell "Mercy" and admit pain. Who ever does first, LOSES. No Way. If I admit pain... I LOSE.

Rejection, causes pain.....small rejections- usually cause small pain... big rejections.....can cause HUGE pain. My membership to an online "Group" isn't a huge pain, just a sting. A few unanswered Why? An internal, and defensive "Your loss, not mine". Maybe a quick thought of.... "I'll show- you--- I'll start my own group...."

Then, in a moment of clarity, comes: acceptance.

Yep. I'm a reject. I've been rejected. For whatever reason, whether valid- or unfair, rejection is part of life. When you put yourself "out there" people will reject you. It's a risk you take. Once you've experienced it... you have a choice.....what are you going to do?

Will you try to "defend"? In whatever creative way you can think of?
Will you try to "coccoon" yourself away....and not let anyone "know" you---- so they can't reject you?
Will you try to" FIT IN" at the expense of your unique design by God... becoming less than authentic?

I've tried them. They don't work.

"Defense mechanisms "don'twork--- by the time I'm "defending" I've already been hurt.
"Coccooning " leaves me ,without my spiritual,social and emotional needs for connection being met, AND removes me and my experiences out of "the loop" of helping others.
I end up starved, and others lose out. Not working either.
"Recreating myself"- to fit in with every new person or situation, is exhausting.... and, it flies in the face of the God who made me....artistically, designed and formed me, like this, for a purpose. Besides-if there are a few "different' groups you're tring to fit in with.... it's really hard to keep track of. AND WHAT IF YOU SEE someone FROM GROUP A... WHEN YOU"RE WITH GROUP B? Not worth the energy. Too volatile.

So what does work?

I am learning- (and have been , FOREVER it seems!) to value God's opinion of me, more than other peoples'. Rejection really hurts- because I want people to LIKE me, pretty much everything about me. Have you noticed that people are pretty PICKY? We're also pretty good at finding SOMETHING to dislike or criticize. It's IMPOSSIBLE to make everyone happy- or like you.

But God... well He created me, weaknesses, talents and all- for His glory. When I'm rejected by others--- I can look to Him... for compassion, assurance, and acceptance. He's been there. Jesus, put himself "Out There" and has been rejected. Yet, His arms are always open---with acceptance, when we "risk" to trust Him. God desires connection with us- and He promises NO Rejection. Revelation 3 :20 " Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me." We risk- He accepts. We find a place to heal from our rejections.

For me--- finding a safe place to connect with other PEOPLE, also helps. I have friends- they know me. Probably, more than they want to know about me. And, they accept me. It took risk, to develop those relationships, but it was worth it. It's one of my "landing places"... where I can go to recover from lifes rejections.

Finally, it's "Trying again". The options are "risk- or die" I've not met anyone who died from a single rejection.... but research shows that people can become sick (both physically and emotionally)... and babies can literally DIE without loving contact. If we don't keep trying- we'll end up dying.

Spiritually, the Bible says we're created to be "One Body" each part different, to serve a different purpose. The Bible also says we need to be a "part of the vine." Have you ever seen grapes, "GROWING" on a piece of cut off vine? Doubful. (Unless you're hallucinating.) In order to grow- spiritually, we need to be CONNECTED. First, connected to God- then to His body- believers.

Connection requires Risk. Rejection is possible. (OK- at times, it's probable)
But- if you ask me- it's worth the risk. I need "groups" not online- but in "real life".

I think I'll find another "Group" to join. Maybe this time, I'll get in. Maybe not.
I'm just glad- that when God "knocked" I answered, and didn't reject Him!

Der Lord, I know rejection is just a part of life. But, I don't like it. God- help me to grow compassion from those experiences, and not to reject others. Help me to reach out in love to those who are rejected. God- help me be connected to you- and to fiill my "place" in your body. I love you Lord, Amen.

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January 25
Night. Elie Wiesel, Looking for light- in the darkness of souls.

I am primarily, a "Pollyanna" archetype. By nature...or nurture....I just assume--- there has to be a good ending. I have been known to sit in movie theaters--long after the final credits- until pried from my seat... by DH....because- "That Can't Be The END" I've even been known to "edit" in my mind---- and re-write an ending to my liking. I cried, (and thoroughly enjoyed) Pride and Prejudice.....the final scene of connection without "airs" was satisfying. I HATED "Terminal". I abstain from anything written by Nicholas Sparks. I have cried at the end of "Lady and the Tramp"... just because of the happy ending. Elie Wiesel's story isn't intrinsically happy, in the end. Actually, although I've read other accounts of the Holocaust, this is the saddest.

Simply put, Elie Wiesel survived the Holocaust. Unfortunately, during the course of suffering, temptation and being surrounded by the basest and lowest of human nature... his faith did not. Elie describes a day- where a child in the concentration camp where he was held, was hanged. He described the poor boy as angelic in face and loved by all. There was no mercy, he was hanged in a torturous way, by men. That day- to Elie- God hung on the gallows as well. The one who could have intervened, did not. There is no fairytale ending- (at least not that he shares-) the reader is left understanding he has lost both- hope and faith.

I do not know, why- when faced with depravity, pain, unspeakable suffering, some turn TOWARD God, and some turn away. I have read, a number of times Corrie Ten Boom's account of the Holocaust in "The Hiding Place," I've read Dittrich Bonhoffer, who suffered greatly- and experienced the suffering of others---- but found solace in God. I am thankful for their testimonies. And for Elie Wiesel, he has gifted the world- with his honesty and with intimacy, sharing the depth of his loss- far past comfort, torture, humiliationand grief.... he lost his hope and faith. He tells his story- so that we wouldn't forget. Because if we forget- it will happen again.

I do not pretend to relate to the horror filled experiences of those who were held in concentration camps---- or those currently persecuted, or nations held under a dictators rule.....but- I think there is a holocaust of the soul that we all face---- in different ways, different degrees, through different experiences. We face and experience the unleashed evil that is in us--- or in others. Then, we have to choose. What will I believe? About God? Because of this pain? Will I believe he has forsaken me? Or died? Or never existed? Or will I scream out to Him.... reach for Him......rage at Him... like a child at his parent.

So far---- crisis' have found me running to God. Yes- sometimes to scream, sometimes to whine.... sometimes just to cry. I have not experienced what Elie Wiesel has. In his place, I can't anticipate how I would respond. His narrative painfully describes his desire- to do the right things--- (help his father.. help others) and his battle with his conflicting desires to "Do the wrong things" - to be rid of others- so he could survive. He has experienced- the darkest places in the souls of others, and in himself. When faced with that darkness, I'm not sure what I'd fear more----the darkness i find in me? Or, in others?

I wonder about the German Soldiers.... the SS? Without condoning or excusing, they were at least, decieved. At worst, evil and hateful. I can't imagine what went on in the mind of Hitler....or of his followers. But- I know this about myself, It's pretty easy to justify my sinful actions.... it's pretty easy to think I'm right, when I'm wrong. No- I don't torture, starve or mutilate people. I haven't left my dying father behind--- to search for him later. But- the seeds of self preservation.... of selfishness... of self right-ness....and of self importance are all there. Have I hated? Yes. Have I been selfish? Yes. Have I hurt others? Yes. Have I suffered from the sins of others? Yes. The seeds of compassion- and trust in God- regardless of my circumstances....or seeds of bitterness and self hatred, the seeds are there- but,I can choose what they become.

There have been others- to suffer-Paul suffered greatly --- imprisoned, tortured etc. Paul, also- had persecuted and killed Christians..when faced with his- and others darkness- Paul found strength in God. Job, suffered all manner of loss---- and screamed out to God. David suffered both from his sin- and that of others----many of the Psalms are his heart poured out before God, evidence of his turing toward God. ( albeit sometimes loudly!) I pray I can follow their example- in big and small pains, that I can learn from their mistakes, as well as from the testimony of Elie Wiesel.

I am not looking for pain. I avoid it at great cost. But, it's a part of life. Darkness is a part of life. I don't know what makes others look into darkness and find God--- I only know that I want to as well. One tiny star shines so bright in the dark sky. The contrast is remarkable. Maybe the contrast between God's holiness and our sinfulness- are meant- not to make us think less of us- but more of Him.

Dear Lord- first I pray for those suffering rt now- whether from past hurts- or current ones. I pray especially for the survivors of the Holocaust, that they find peace in you. I pray for those who lost loved ones- that they bring their grief to you- for comfort. Lord- I pray for those persecuted for their faith- even now- that they find hope and strength in you. I pray for those oppressed- that they find freedoom in you. Lord- I pray, that when faced with darkness, in my soul- or others---- that I would look for you---- and find hope. That I would allow the darkness to become a background for your brilliant light. Lord- I pray that Elie Wiesel, would find hope and faith again. Always. I love you Lord- amen.
These scriptures have helped- me when faced with the darkness of soul.....both mine and others- I pray they bring you peace as well.
Roman's 7 :7-25
Struggling With Sin
7What shall we say, then? Is the law sin? Certainly not! Indeed I would not have known what sin was except through the law. For I would not have known what coveting really was if the law had not said, "Do not covet."[b] 8But sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from law, sin is dead. 9Once I was alive apart from law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. 10I found that the very commandment that was intended to bring life actually brought death.
11For sin, seizing the opportunity afforded by the commandment, deceived me, and through the commandment put me to death. 12So then, the law is holy, and the commandment is holy, righteous and good. 13Did that which is good, then, become death to me? By no means! But in order that sin might be recognized as sin, it produced death in me through what was good, so that through the commandment sin might become utterly sinful.
14We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. 15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.
21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in the sinful nature a slave to the law of sin.

I believe- with all my heart- that the only way our of darkness- and into light is thru Jesus.

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January 24
Can you hear me now? Better question: Can I hear what you SAY... or is my brain too loud?
It's not a joke- I am "hearing impaired" in a lot of ways.

In the medical sense- for some not as yet determined reason.... I have a pressure problem with my left ear. No- it's not a "low pressure zone" due to a lack of brain in between..... What it means medically- is it's hard for me to hear with my left ear. I constantly have to ask---- "Did you say_______?" or, " What did you say?" I try to listen extra carefully-----I ask clarifying questions--- to make sure I've heard right----but sometimes- I THINK I've heard something I didn't. It's especially hard in a group- terribly hard if i'm seated on an end of a table with my "bad ear" to the crowd.

It drives my kids NUTS. It drives me- my spouse- and probably ,my friends, crazy. At the moment- it's driving my oldest and I into fights for NO REASON at all....... because he had an ear infection----we're having trouble clearing up----- and he can't hear either!

It's interesting----I've learned, that,- when your ears- don't HEAR everything thats said---- your BRAIN steps in and interprets... it fills in the blanks.

For example: I could physically hear: "Did you mufflle muffle rumbly sound the car?"

My brain interprets- it as.... "Did you put gas in the car?"

I answer: "Yes."

Later--(with my good ear- I hear:) --"MOM, the basketball hit dads car......."

then---from My Husband.... "I thought you said you moved the car?"

Conflict. And- actually- damage. All because I'm hard of hearing.

I think - we can all be prone to "hearing problems".

My hearing problems aren't always based on the physical. Sometimes my brain interprets.... without having blanks to fill in!

As a new mom-- I can remember the pressure I felt- when I'd take my litttle guys to the doctor........I was so afraid- they were thinking I was a bad middle son had allergies--asthmatic reactions to them as well. The pediatrician recommended some allergen removal know- wash everything- encase mattress in plastic/vinyl.... change pillows--- dust etc.... I heard what he SAID... but my "brain" would be yelling/interpreting for me...LOUDLY "The Dr said....He's sick--- and it's because you're a lousy houskeeper" The Dr didn't SAY that--- but it's sure what I heard.

As a leader- I've had the same things happen....someone voices a small concern... or a criticism.... or a valid point... but instead of hearing what they SAID.... and acting on it.... My brain screams out---- "You shouldn't be in charge of don't know what you're doing" it's not (usually) what was SAID.... but it is sometimes what I've heard.

My hearing problem... affects all of my relationships---- even my relationship with God. The bible says "all have sinned" I hear---- (On a bad day) You suck. Sinner. Loser. It's NOT what the Lord, through His word SAID...but sometimes- its what I HEAR.

The loud mouth in my head--(and yes- I'm aware of the line between psychosis and self awareness-- ) comes from a lot of different experiences.... her perspective/ or hearing problem, is based on her/MY experiences....Over the years---- I've learned- she's not always right in her interpretation. SHe interprets thru the language of her experience. She fills in blanks that aren't there. The truth is... sometimes- what someone SAYS --- means JUST that. Nothing more- nothing less.

It's important to ask a follow-up question... just to be sure "you heard right".

Over the years- I've gotten better at telling my "brain" to shut up.

It's important to recognize our own areas of "hearing trouble"... maybe yours is the in ability to hear compliments.... or the assumption that everything is a criticism of YOU, personally.....I don't know what specifically it is---- but I know this--- In order to be the best mother I can be... the best leader I can be....I need God to help me with MINE! Maybe- you do too.

Dear Lord- I have asked you for healing--- for my physical ear- a number of times---- I'm asking again. But really- Lord----I need to be healed in my hearing of all things----help me to hear what is said---- not what my "brain" fills in.... about - you--especially. I also pray for others- that they can hear whats' said---- and learn to know it as separate from the voices in our heads. May your voice- always be the loudest- or at least the CLEAREST that I hear... i love you Lord... amen.

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January 23
Ummmm .....would you dog ate my sock needle?
Somedays, I'm just surprised.....

At Sami's creaativity, and speed.

Sami, is my beagle. She's a BAD DOG. And, she's fast.

It's true- the embossed leaves socks---- that have caused me so much torment----and taught me so much.....have been her latest culinary adventure. Apparently, she really finds the Swallow Casein Needles tasty. Look closely at the pic below.....can anyone tell me...... how much guage differentiation should I plan for---- in regards to TOOTH marks---- and a missing needle tip? (Or third? as she ate about one third of one needle.)

I have just kept knitting on-----honestly- these socks are now a quest.

As for Sami..... well- like a toddlers mom... (which I am, as well) all I can say is.... I was sitting right here.... I set them down... for just a second.... then----crunch munch....faster than a teenager eats taco-bell....I'm one third of a needle shy of a set of five DPN's..... and OF COURSE.... this is a pattern with a 16 stitch lace repeat---ANDa toe that forms a STAR pattern all based o n five needles...... I suppose I CAN make 4 needles work...... but geez....what a pain.

You can also see my Tempting sweater----- inching along.... I managed to find MORE debbiebliss aran weight in #614...a perfect match. so---- as stress relief....i'm k2p2-ing my heart out----

In the pic you can see the pretty piece of hand dyed silk ribbon, I bought as the finishing touch.....

Since I cast this on MONTHS ago------ I suppose it would be good to FINISH it. Like, SOON. Like before SUMMER. Besides---- this is on Addi's---- even bad dog sami-- hasn't eaten any Addis----- YET.

On a funnier note---- I did read a post-- a while back--- that had a warning about dogs, and casein needles---- that they could "smell" the milk protein......and were prone to eat them.... but- what about all the OTHER things that Sami eats? Like my cracker barrel rocker.... or longaberger baskets..... or Noah's Jacket?

Not so easy to explain. However---- I'd recommend keeping your needles- safe from your pet-----

Probably better for everyone involved.

Dear Lord- I know I'm a lot like Sami---- you're right there- sitting with me---- and I'm pretty FAST to get myself into trouble.... with my temper-- or my mouth.....especially. Mostly not from things I EAT.. but from things I say! I ask you to----keep a close eye on me Lord- help me and remind me----and well... I guess- occaisionally---- MUZZLE ME! I love you Lord- and thank you for this bad -dog- who constantly reminds me of how patient you are with Me! amen-

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January 20
Knitting, FiberGodmother...updates- and a new discovery- ugly koigu socks. My new skill.
Just when I start to think..." Hey- I'm getting pretty good at knitting......"

I take two of my favorite things- Lace and koigu KPPM..... combine them without swatching......and Voila.....I discover a new "Dimension" in knitting. Ugly Koigu Lace socks.

Ok- they are still pretty colors---- but- combinations just don't work. The pretty, pink and black koigu KPPM... would be much better suited to a design that would highlight it's variegations--- instead of compete with it... as it does with the terrific "Embossed Leaves Pattern" I have been working on....

In my total denial, of the possibility of "ugly koigu socks"--- I plowed ahead---yes- I'm stubborn- finishing the first sock..... thinking to myself--- maybe once I block'll work.... NOT. It just isn't "doing it" for me....So- I have cast on in Regia "Silk Shine" in a pretty, and SOLID burgundy. Much better in this! I like the pattern---- so am OK with this go around!

Next I need to catch up on a few SP FiberGodmother things----

The card below is from my Fiber Godmother-----THNX! Looking forward to the fun!

And I have already heard from my SP 7 a couple of times! Including via- the little cutie- below!

Things have been crazy here- but I'll do better posting from here- out!

off to knit this sock- I WILL make a complete Pair---- won't I??????

As for the first Sock in Koigu---- well- Idon't think it's second sock syndrome.... if it's it?

oh well- ya gotta learn somehow.

SP Card pictured below- is from My FiberGodmother---- THNX!!!!

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January 18
"Girlfriend poll" still open... but the winner is.... !!!

If you email me your addy, I'll send you out a copy of Elisa Morgan's new book "Twinkle"!

Thnx to everyone who posted---- this is helping my prep hugely!

If you'd like to e-mail me your answers to avoid setting up a MSN passport--- you can do so thru my profile.

Have knitting update to post later!

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January 17
"Sistah Girlfriend's" Comment Query- Prize for comment #50 ----What about your FRIENDS? Girlfriends- inside out
I'm prepping for a talk, I'm giving at a MOPS group on Thursday.... I NEED YOUR HELP!

If you have comment #50 in this section- you will recieve a prize-(If you comment seperately, for each question- that WILL count!) if you're a knitter- a knitting treat- (set of stitch markers- by Me;) if a MOPs leader- or other visitor----another special treat- if preferred. If you want to know what MOPS is.... check this out: ( it has NOTHING to do with floors...

Instead of consulting "a book", or using personal experience- I thought I 'd ask YOU!

My topic is: "Friendships between Women"

Please take a sec to weigh in YOUR opinion on all- or one- of the following my comment area. just copy your question and type in yur answer--- THNX so much!

1) Where did you meet your friends?

2) Average length of your friendships?

3) What do you like about your friend(s)?

4) What do you NEED from friend (s)?

5) How do you make/spend time with your friends?

6) If married- how does your spouse feel about your "girlfriend time"? Tips for helping with spouses?

7) Communication with your friends most often takes place.. by Phone? E-mail, Face to face, snail-mail...other?

8) Common challenges you face with your friends?

9) MOST important quality, you look for in a friend?

10) What you love most about your friends...

OK- thats it---- post away-----


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January 16
Target Parking Lot---- Who's the JERK?
I really DO.

No- I really , truly, DO. Try to do the right things for the right reasons.

Honest. I do. Sad truth is--- that sometimes makes me feel ... well... like I'm a "good person".

Then something like this happens...... I act like a jerk. Suddenly I remember- "All have sinned and fallen short of the Gory of God"

It wasn't a huge thing--- not really----

I went to Target--- after loading my car, I just pushed the cart a bit. to move it out of my way... I just didn't feel like walking it to the "Cart Corral". Of course, this was the ONE time i get a cart with SMOOTH, FREE ROLLING wheels.... the cart rolled rt into the bumpers of two cars next to and in front of mine. I looked- it was fine.

Now- I am the person- who leaves notes saying, "Hi- my cart bumped your car... it did no damage- but if theres anything your concerned about - or find that I didn't please give me a call..... blah blah....the right thing.

This night I did nothing- a cursory look- that was it-

I started to leave. A woman yelled to me.... "DID YOU SEE WHAT YOU DID?"

I said, "Yes, I checked- it's fine, would you like to see for your self?"
yeah- with some sarcastic annoyance and embarrassment- that I LOOKED like I was just leaving without doing anything....and I knew I hadn't done what I normally would have...

She said: "Did you hit my car too?" (well, I would have, If I knew you were such a jerk.I look for jerks cars to hit with carts--- I'm a SAHM... it's what we DO. my head- not out loud)

I got annoyed. "NO, I didn't."

"Thats what they have cart corrals for" she informed me...

"Yeah- thanks thats good to know" was may wonderful comeback.

And then- as I drived away- I mouthed "jerk". Nice and clear. I don't think she saw me.... no one did. But, I did.

All the way home- I vascillated between justifiying my anger towards her .. and feeling guilty for not living up to my own standards. By the time I got home I was a mess.

Here's the thing. I WAS WRONG. I was being lazy. I bumped 2 people's car in the parking lot- with a cart- not intentionally- and I did no damage... BUT... I could have doen the right thing- taken FULL responsibility... not MINIMAL responsibility.... I could have been "caught" leaving a note- for no reason- other than a desire to do the right thing..... maybe that "butinski" would have had a different experience with me....instead....she got sacrastic. She got----"Thanks, that's good to know" and a nicely mouthed "jerk" behind her back....

Nice,headline... huh? "Christian leader calls woman a jerk, because leader was to lazy to put away her cart-" and bumped 2 bumpers......I don't know who the "Butinski Target Woman" is..... but you know what? With the information that she had... she was right. It happens every day. I 've had it happen to me... go in- car is fine- come out--- theres a ding in the door- no note- nothing.... what was there to make her think I was any different? Not my actions.

This time, there were no marks... but there aren't always VISIBLE "marks" when it comes to sin....

I'm NOT saying that not walking my cart to the little corral was sin.....I'm saying my attidude... my response... my name calling were. And, although they may have left no visible marks..... I'm sure she went home and said "I can't believe what I saw at Target Today.... A lady let her cart go- and it bumped two cars.... she just looked and left.......what a jerk." (or worse). Was she right? Did she do anything wrong? Well- I think so---she was pretty nasty about the whole thing..... and I choose to respond in NASTY kind, right back.

Bummer is---- When I stand before Jesus, I don't get to say... "Well Look what SHE did! She SET me OFF. She should check her facts, and MIND HER OWN Business!"

Actually- I'm glad I don't get to do that.... I wonder how many fingers would then be pointing at me... saying it was "MY FAULT" they had acted that way.. I SET THEM OFF...

There's another issue. See- I really DO want to do the right things. Whether anyone sees or not-----not because I want to "Be Good" but because I want to represent Christ , well. He loves me- and well- I love Him. So, like any other relationship- I want to please Him...

See, that lady at Target---- she saw a "CHRISTIAN" act like a JERK......( truthfully- she probably never thought about whether I was a Christian or not.... I didn't exactly give her any HINTS that I was....) My actions, could have reinforced a popular cultural myth.. "Christians are hypocritic jerks". I was.

It's just a good thing I don't have one of those "Icthus(Jesus) fish" on my car.....I'd have really BLOWN it. jk. jk.

Here's the difference: between the myth- and the reality:

See- I KNOW I am a jerk. I GET that I have a human tendancy towards hypocrisy and blaming others-----
Thats why I need Jesus. To help me grow out of it... and to forgive me for it.

Authentic Christianity, isn't about BEING perfect... it's about being forgiven...forgiving others- and learning to live like it.


Dear Fellow Target Shopper- (who saw me at Target/Canton- last Thurs nt)

You were right, I was just being lazy. I'm sorry for calling you a jerk.... and for being being a jerk.

Next time- to the Cart Corral I go. I hope you can forgive me.


Dear Lord- I know it wasn't an "end of the world".... type sin...but, I also know you saw- from the inside out---- what a jerk I was. I'm sorry for treating others like that- for the sarcasm and justifying, and for trying to take the easier way out, instead of the better way---- I know the feeling of doing whats right---- and of doing what's wrong.... thnx for using the lady at Target---- to remind me....thank you for your patience and forgiveness----- I do love you Lord. Amen

Roman's 3:21-2621But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. 22This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, 23for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. 25God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement,[i] through faith in his blood. He did this to demonstrate his justice, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished— 26he did it to demonstrate his justice at the present time, so as to be just and the one who justifies those who have faith in Jesus.
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Auto Show---- not so bad!

North American Auto Show: Mission Accomplished. Excuse the Dodge plug- but they did take our pic-- for free....

Well..... I was myself. Ok.. I was myself- WITH major make-up- heels and a gown.. but you know.. I managed to be authentic- character wise.

The People DH works with now, are much more "REAL"... it was a much better event. More comfortable... not SNOOTY butt stuff... which I hate. They also don't seem to drink until they are obnoxious...which I appreciated, too! What you drink with your dinner- is your decision... but if it makes you act obnoxious and nasty... or just plain impossible to be around...while I am supposed to be with you-- well, thats rude.

The Cars were- well- SHINEY. There you go. That's my opinion. They were SHINEY, and the ones I prefer- can't fit a car seat.. so they are basically POINTLESS. Besides.... I really think it's nuts to spend a MORTGAGE amount on a car.... PLEASE.

Like anything else- if you sell it--- people will buy--- and buy and buy.... In a market driven economy... ya gotta have a car for every budget.

And a dress for every show---- this was mine...I NEVER say this--- but it was prettier in person.....pic wasn't very good---- but- I forgot my camera!!!

Dress stats:
Sue Wong Nocturne- It was ; red bias cut ,matte silk, with red beading, beautiful hemline...beading on back as well.same as front- have to say--- most designers cut dresses for starved models--- this dress worked for an actual woman... yahoo!

Miine was on clearance @ Von Maur.... gotta love that.

I always wear black... but- I loved this dress.... fit well.... beading worked-- and red is good for me... first time I ever- bought the first dress I tried on! The shoes however---- I should have splurged on.... so painful.. I ended up walking to the limo without shoes .. in the rain....and the freezing cold.... yeah- they hurt that much.

(yeah- thats a lie, I tell it every year.....sorry)

Dear Lord, I just want to thank you for helping me, to be myself at the Gala--- and not to get all caught up- in the craziness of it all...I pray the funds raised will bless the receivers.....I also want to thank you for the whole dress debacle.... it has been so hard in the past---- but this one- was much easier to choose----It may have just been me Lord--- but, since I asked for help in advance--- I'm thinkin it was you! I love you Lord- and pray you'll help me to always walk with you--- no matter WHAT shoes I'm wearing! But- please remind me next year---- to go for COMFORT, or pack up slippers! Amen.

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January 13
I did it! "Hanne Falkenberg: Mermaid" A knitters commitment. and the North American Autoshow Gala Preview.(not necessarily related) ADD post.

Hanne Falkenberg Sweater Kit- "Mermaid" in colorway #10
a few stats:
all garter stitch. (I can handle that)
Black, Charcoal and Fuschia... MY COLORS.
3mm needles-- hmmm well thats a LOT of garter stitch then...

How could it NOT look good, even on me?

I ordered it here:

I'm cheap.

I'm a shopper- but I'm CHEAP. Nothing is purchased without being on sale...preferably CLEARANCE sale.

Knitting kits seldom are. SO I've scoured the internet- and this online shop in the UK has the kits for about HALF of what they cost here. I'm a bit nervous about it--- they seem reputable... but could there be something wrong with it??? Is is fake or something? Doesn't look like it- but will see when it gets here.

Why such an ordeal over a sweater kit?

1) I love it.
2) I don't usually buy kits, nor have I knit many sweaters- (mostly cause it kills me to have to buy that much of one yarn at a time....)
3) It will be a challenge.... I LOVE a challenge. (knitting or otherwise)

There seems to be plenty of online support via- others experience...both pro-and con--- makes it look easy.
This forum makes it look pretty tough- but , problems overcome- I think can learn from their struggles...
SO- I did it. I'm waiting for it's arrival....

Am almost to the heel of my first "Embossed Leaves Socks" From Interweave Knits Winter 05.
Goal is to finish these before kit arrives---should be easy- after tonight----

Cause tonight.... I have to go to something I don't really like.
The North American Autoshow Preview Gala

DH works in the automotive /computer industry.... he's phenomenal at what he does- and really loves cars-- and the manufacturing process.... so, while it's nice to be able to be supportive- and see him "in his element" of networking etc...
I well.... lets just say, I care about it cause he does- but thats about it.
Lack of interest isn't really my problem about tonight....
Tonight, while "theoretically" a Charity Benefit- (which I'm all about) it is "experientially" about a lot of PRETENSE.
A Lot of MONEY.
A lot of "boozing" (honestly- to me- intoxicated people are pretty annoying)
A lot of FAKE. (hair, boobs, jewels- rented tuxes..toupees..fake interest-fakey relationships...."air kisses" blah blah.)
Now, there is a lot of business relationship networking- which I'm NOT criticizing....but there is also a lot of celebrity watching- (and celebrity wanna-bees) and show -offy- fakeness.
It's about a lot of "keeping up with the joneses" and one-up manship.
But- like my post yesterday- It's amazing what we do for love.....
I love my DH- and in order to support him... well--- I will WALK THE LINE.
The Line looks like this:
1) I will make myself "presentable" (but- there will be a few "fake" items about myself tonight as well... nails .(thats the norm though) ..eyelashes...whatever "SUPPORT" ummmm "UNDERGIRDING" it will take to pry myself into a gown that "works for me" and WILL be on Clearance... I guarantee.
2) I will be authentic- there are "authentically", people- I respect and am nice to because of their "position"...more so than their personality. I will .
3) I will do my best to represent my DH's executive position well.
4) I will NOT get caught up in all the... "one-up's and showing off's" . (though, honestly... it can be hard....)
5) I will actually enjoy the "whole princess thing" Dressing up- blah blah....
I'm pretty much a priss- a priss with a lot of dichotomous preferences... i know... knitting, I'm a make-up girl...I'm a shoe/handbag girl...I'm a "Coordinate everything "woman....I love to read... I love classic lit...I love rock music...I love being a SAHM... but, consider myself a "professional" and handle myself as such....(though- thechnicall a SAHM... I am seldom HOME.) I love AUTHENTICTY.but always have fake nails-- and usually make-up. (though , I once did a talk on self-worth where I wore NO make-up to make a point.) .I love fishing...(went to the ULTIMATE Fishing show/expo last nt) Camping...beach..did I say BEACH? SUNSHINE. SUNSHINE. Jet-skiing-- FAST. VERY FAST. WAY CRAZY "SO fast I can barely hold on and have trouble walking for days after"......FAST.

I get the dichotomy. EXTREME differences in interests.
I guess you really can't judge a book by it's cover....or woman by her make-up, or shoes...(I'v'e been known to wear heels /a long blazer while fishing with my sons. )


Hmmmm.... now I'm feeling something--- could that be-- guilt? Hypocrisy? yep.

blah blah- I hate fakeyness--- blah blah ... don't judge a book by it's cover.... OK. I hear you Lord. OUCH.

New goal for tonight:

To TRY to see people, and relate to people for who they are (awesome unique creations of God- with their own "Dichotomies") and not judge them by the situation I see them in--- A Gala.

I'm going to need help.

Dear Jesus- thank you- for letting/helping me see my attittude...God- there are some things that are just WRONG...and,while I can see them.. (pretty clearly!) please help me to still see the people inside of the pretense- help me to love extremely tonight- and represent you well...and Lord- I could use some help finding a dress ON SALE that doesn't make me look fat. I love you Jesus! Amen.

going to buy a dress and get ready.
later- ts

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10:02 AM

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January 12
Dog Diapers- and other- "delicate" issues..what we do for love..
Do you ever find yourself AMAZED at the Extreme things you do for love? It's sometimes shocking- once in a while funny. I'm not talking about sick or co-dependant behavior... I'm talking about the things we do to care for those we love.....i.e.

My Dog wears a diaper.

OK- it's a Dog Diaper....

But, it's DIAPER either way.

It's not for what you're probably thinking-or for what diapers are usually used for....-- let's just say- SAMI is a sweet GIRL.....and GIRLS have certain... SEASONS..... (hows' that? OK- fine- you're gonna MAKE me say it...Sami is in heat!)

Sami is a beautiful Beagle--- DH and sons have planned on breeding her since we welcomed her into our family. NOT SO MUCH ANYMORE.

It's winter time- this is her second "season"...last one was in July- we live in MI--- can you say "OUTSIDE Sami"?

Not working in the winter. So, here we are- what feels like countless times a day, I take her diaper off- let her out- bring her in, put it back on.. it's basically, well, gross. But Sami is a part of our family- we love her- Noah shares food from his plate with her--LITERALLY OFF HIS PLATE. - (NOT with my approval, I might add,--I told him it's gross- he said "Sami likes it..." (as though I were implying eating from HIS plate was gross...) We don't elevate her to the level of human.... but we love her- and care for her....and at this point- for a few weeks- that means: We Diaper her.

It's gross - but tolerable... EXCEPT the time I was exhausted- and put her out-to do her evening DUTY-- FORGETTING to take her diaper off----when I went to bring her in... lets just say--- her diaper experience was FULLER than it had been up to this point... NASTY. Since The diaper cover thing- (denim is big again this year for all of us.. even Sami) is NOT disposable....well- you can imagine. I was tempted to throw the $18.99 diaper in the trash.

I suppose I should be thankful that doggy diapers have been invented...but- honestly- for Valentine's day- I'm asking for no chocolates-no Day at the SPA for me... just an appointment for Sami with the vet for a little doggy SPA day--- (read: fix that DOG!)

But- well- Sami's worth it.

Truth is-- I have messes to clean up from all those I love--- MOST are not nearly as GROSS (some of the stuff I find growing in my teens rooms come close!)... but- messes , hurts- accidents are all a part of love. Sometimes the messes are my own---and my family tolerates them- as we do poor Sami girl...sometimes the messes are messes we are in or create together. Fights- tempers flare- words are sarcastically spoken--- rules are defied....(OHHHH.... THE MOUTHS OF TEENS.... and even worse--- their MOTHERS!)

I constantly try to remind myself---- this is extreme love---- being willing to stick it out and help, through messy "seasons" because we love and value relationships with loved ones, more than inconveniences- big or small....

I know that Love- is not exclusive to any culture- or religion. Love stands every test of time and crosses every barrier---- but I can attest to this fact:

The reason I can love , in any "season" is because Jesus- has already extended EXTREME love to me--- He's lovingly- (without resentment--- unlike me!) helped clean up the messes in me- and in my life---- He's paid the price for my sin....Jesus has decided I am worth the mess and hassle- just to be HIS...

Countless times a day- God graciously forgives me---helps me, reminds me---cleans me up- and puts me back where I belong--- right with Him....

I guess, I can do the same for others--- even Sami Girl.

1 John 4 God's Love and Ours 7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son[b] into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for[c] our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Dear Lord- I am so thankful that your love is Extreme.. I thank you for all the times you patiently help clean up my messes.. or stand lovingly by- as you guide me in how to clean them up myself...and for the times- when you "contain my mess" so it doesn't hurt my family....I'm messy Lord- I blow it- please help me to be more forgiving- because you have already forgiven me of so much! It will NEVER cease to amaze me, how loving and merciful you are! Amen

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January 11
An open letter to The Detroit Pistons/Automotion..."Nakey Ladies No play basketball" Noah- 3 1/2
"Nakey Ladies, No play basketball" Noah- 3 1/2 (Comment on hearing a discussion about the New Automotion Calendar on the radio . )

"DEEEEEEEEETROIT BASKETBALLLLLLLLLL!" also- Noah- age 3 1/2. He's a Piston's fan. He's got it down- he's got "swag"- jersey's shorts outfits- etc.He could be your next sports caster- ready to uphold the Detroit tradition- which can be heard, here: As Noah is 3 1/2- I'm writing on his behalf- and on behalf of other Moms- of daughters of all ages and sons.

Dear Detroit Pistons, The Automotion Dance Team and Detroit WB:

I am a Mom of three sons- ages 16,13 and 3 1/2. And, although I don't always agree with my 3 1/2 year olds opinion- on this one I concur- wholeheartedly. "Nakey" ladies don't play basketball- nor, do they have anything to do with basketball. To his young eyes- ladies in skimpy outfits- are the same as ladies in their underwear. Underwear clad ladies are naked. It's simple enough for a preschooler.

The Detroit Pistons have historically and currently- been promoted and enjoyed, as "family entertainment"... I appreciate the "family nights" the- "the Kids Crew" portion of the Piston's website, the auctions etc- that the Piston's participate in, to benefit Kids. However- the downward slope of both Automotion's costuming and marketing (ie new calendar)is in direct conflict to this goal.

Automotion, whether between plays or at halftime, has become a "time to turn the channel" part of our- and many others, Detroit Pistons experience.
Once we change the channel, the WB has lost viewers.

I am also disappointed, and disturbed in how this Automotion's choices (and the Piston's by default) as role models to young girls. Automotion hold a number of "Dance Camps" and maintains a "Jr Automotion Dance Team". ( ) In so doing, they are reaching out to young girls- and helping them to accomplish their dreams. (Which COULD have been both noble and appreciated goals.) Instead- they are encouraged- and groomed- to "being like Automotion". Thus- Automotion- has placed themselves in the role model position. Instead of leading girls toward being strong- beautiful, talented and respected women, the girls are led to follow an example of becomming a sexual object.

I understand fully- and accept, the responsibility as a parent, to monitor and maintain my children's (and teens) exposure to media and the legal rights we are all granted thru the first amendment's "freedom of speech".

I am not debating the "legality" of these decisions. I am appealing to and debating their "morality" and their implications in our already sexually dysfunctional culture. (simply "google" help for sexual addictions, for examples of this downward slopes natural end. )

Is this what The Detroit Pistons, Detroit WB and Automotions'desires to promote? A role model (and training camp) for girls to become sexual objects? Do you wish to display and promote- not "DEEETROITT BASKETAAAALLLLL" but, instead promote "Nakey Ladies"?

Here's my advice- keep the beautiful, talented women. Let them dance. Dance is an incredible and fun part of life. Keep helping girls achieve their dreams- help them dream bigger,than becoming sex objects.
Keep Automotion- have them to help build excitement in the stands and the larger audience- FOR THE GAME. WITH THEIR CLOTHES for additional promotional ideas- and ways to raise funds- how bout a carwash? (OK- that WAS sarcastic-humor- sorry!)


Tracey, a Mom and wife, of Piston's fans in MI.

If you visited my blog today and YOU'RE NOT The Detroit Pistons, Detroit WB or Automotion- I ask for your understanding in my posting my "rant"/letter I have been involved in pastoral counseling for about 13 years, and have seen many negative consequences in both teen girls, families and individuals due to the over all decline in modesty- and the marketing of sex- to all ages. In a culture where anorexia, bulimia, body image, self esteem issues,child pornography and sexual addictions (about to be listed in the DSMV-V) are openly discussed and accepted as the problems they are- it amazes and frustrates me that we are here at all.

I'm not a crusader- or political activist- I do, however- encourage others who recognize this as damaging- to take advantage of "the power of the remote" (a cherished power in a home with 4 men/boys) and TURN THE CHANNEL. Marketing is all about money- they won't sell what we won't BUY!

Here are some articles,resources that inspired it:

I'll post again later- with something a bit more- "knitter" friendly... I promise!

FYI- this letter is being sent, not just posted.

Also- I understand the controversial nature of my opinion- and ask one thing- I am open to comments- but this is MY BLOG- it's like visiting me personally- I expect to be treated with the same respect I have given. Attackful comments- or otherwise inappropriate language in comments will be deleted. Respectful disagreements, will be left to stand on their own.

thnx ts

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January 09
Quick knit update...
OK- ACTUAL Knitting content!

Yahoo! - Finished my Malabrigo Clapotis... I love it- big- warm and UNBELIEVABLE soft.. Malabrigo has GOT to be the best wool (Merino actually) that I've knit with so far.... Done on Addi turbo's #8's ... color- is "Purple Mystery" purchased from Needles & Pins- in London, Ontario- by darling DH...

pattern: free- gotta love that.

Next up- finished that LINGERING Falling Leaves scarf- in alchemy handpainted cashmere- (again my DH 's purchase... he's a sweety- travels for work- and the LYS near his headquarters- now KNOWS him....)

anyway love how this blocked out as well----

finally- an item cast-on-- (oh my) started "Embossed leaves lace socks" from Winter 05 Interweave a koigu kppm... hot pink/black colorway- that I'can't find the # of sorry- but love the yarn... swallow double points # 2s (they are the casein protein needles- nice flexibility for lace knitting--- all those k2togs... ssk's etc- a bit easier with bendy needles......also smooth- slip thru the wool nicely without losing stitches when I set it down...happy with them- (first project on them) but still like the feel of my lantern moon ebony's better...

ok- thats it for now- just had to share---- nice to have F'O's for a change- that aren't mittens or fingerless gloves!

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Hi I'm Tracey, I'm Resolution Avoidant....
OK- It's true. I'm Resolution Avoidant.

Have you noticed? While the world blogged about New Years Resolutions...I've avoided them like the plague.

It has started to bother me. A little.

Part of me (probably my emotions) said- "maybe it's just false I'm SUPPOSED to what others DO at this time of year...."

My brain said- "Nope, that's not it"

Another part of me said---- "Maybe it's because I DON'T like to do what others are doing--- just to make a point."

My brain "veto"ed that one too. (Though ,I liked it better, as a choice in general...)

SO my emotions asked my brain... "OK- whats your problem?"

My brain replied.."You don't like to make commitments you don't follow thru with.... and you'd rather complain about these things than DO something about them..."

All of me said OUCH.

Yeah- it's probably true....when I look back at my blog/journal... I see a number of things I LIKE to complain about- but not necessarily CHANGE. Maybe cause it's more fun... maybe cause I HATE to fail.... Maybe cause the goals are a bit overwhelming.

So. OK. This is it. What are the things I need to change? A New Year IS a good opportunity to look over last year and make some course here I go... drum roll please........or not.

Goals in the New Year.....

1) I really want to be more consciencious in my Bibly-study and teaching. Am reading John MaCarthur's bk"Fools Gold"... While I don't agree with everything he says-I do feel I need to be more careful--- not trying to make scripture fit my ideas--- but fitting my ideas to line up with scripture--- and assuring contextual agreement when I teach- not taking stuff even a little out of context to substantiate my points...

2) Take better care of my self- physically- yes- read:LOSE weight. I think it's a matter of self care... I've been pretty lazy about eating whats EASY and convenient instead of whats HEALTHY. Also need to get back into an exercise habit... have a few minor health issues that would improve with a little effort....or deteriorate over time with out effort-- (funny how that works- isn't it? )

3) Work on some relationships.....closer is always better- but requires EFFORT.

4) Start SAVING money....- last years goal was (sadly-because it SHOULD have just been HAPPENING- not have to be a goal!) Now- I want to work on- adding to whats in the bank. (for a change)

5) Write something- everyday.... journal,blog, articles- talks....scrapbooking counts too...

OK- those are my main goals-

a few miscellaneous goals.. ( read: I'll either accomplish them or not- we'll see)
1) actually FINISH all my UFO's (knitting term- un finished objects...)
2) keep up with my housework better--- guess I SHOULD do this... just don't really WANT to do it. ( I want things neater - i just want someone else to do it!)
3) spend less time online- goofing off- (doing something is fine- but you know how it is- sometimes I';m really doing NOTHING.)

But heres the thing- they are nothing unless I have a plan of action.

so I'll do that---- TOMORROW...


Plan of Action:

1) go to My fitness place this afternoon- and get a new card--- membership up to date- but umm my card isn't.
update calendar to include work out time
2) Find a good inductive biblestudy- book store this afternoon. or amazon now----ok i have a study bible- that was just a way to put it off--- will start with Phillipians today.
3) Transfer some Money into CU savings acct. (may have DH do this)
4) Already wrote this- so I'm already started there-
5) Send out an e-mail to my accountability people- to askthem hold me accountable to my goals....(also heps with goal #3)

OK- thats it- theres my plan.

now,to go do laundry....Man i do laundry EVERY day!

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January 08
Following up to Cranky in the happy place.....
I promised to follow up- to a previous post, about cranky people In Disney World.....

I saw a lot of them. At moments- I was one of them.....

There seems to be a battle- within each adult present at Disney World... well at least this one- but I think probably more- if they were honest...

Part of me sees the CASH outlay as investment in memories----which is incomparable in value and worth...
Part of me, wants to see the cost effectiveness of FUN per dollar=fun per hour.... OR ELSE.

I start my days well- with thought like---- "this is a precious day together- the weather doesn't really matter- whether or NOT we get to ride Soarin'..... doen't matter... our time waiting in lines- can be FUN... We'll be TOGETHER..... There are plenty of dining options- everyone should be happy...we have plentty of time- we're here ALL week....."

Then suddenly- it's 11:00 a.m. and we haven't gotten out of the hotel......and the locks ticking no longer sounds like an inviting cartoon ticking----m-i-c-k-e-y- m-o-u-s-e.... now it sounds like an evil mocking tease--- You're -not- gonna -get -anything- DONE. What- a -waste- of brain starts the cost/fun analysis......

I am now one of them- the CRANKY in the Happiest Place on Earth... MUST resist the pull of the cranks---- must think HAPPY thoughts.....

Then I see a teenager- (who happens to be mine) sitting with his dad....patting his baby brother on the head.... a little guy- teasing his big boys----the look of awe on his face as he MEETS Tigger.......

Then I'm back- a happy Mom- in a happy place...

The battle continued all week-- somedays I won- somedays I lost...but in the end- I remember the sweet special moments- riding a bus together- sharing silly laughs- our family "inside jokes"... our traditions....teens and a dad JUST off a rollercoaster- hootin and hollering- or soaked after the Kali River Rapids ride----

Is it really about the place? Is it really about the expense? Nope.

We have th experience each year when we go to Traverse City as well- it's a place we go together- (actually with my Mom and Step Dad---) We have OUR spots- we get cranky- wanting to do everything- and then later satisfied with what we did.....

I have to admit- Traverse CIty is easier to transition to----there isn't the HUGE amount of expense involved- or the "PARK hours and crowd to deal with".... but the memories are just as precious----

I suppose the same is true for families all over---- struggling to get away- to be together- and to enjoy it. Without killing each other---and yes- there were moments--- (I always have them..) where I KNOW I said stupid things- like shut up and ride the pooh bear ride- it's our SPECIAL thing--- (totally forgetting that the pooh bear ride doesn't fit a teens idea of special- ANYTHING! )

Over all- I think I'm learning to be thankful for the time we have together- whether in the Happiest Place on Earth-- or here in Canton, Mi.......I have to make the same choices where ever we are.... I face the same struggles---- am I going to enjoy the moment I have- or be CRANKY because of my pre-conceived notions- of what those moments SHOULD be, or what effort/cost should be involved.and what return I expect....?

It was worth it. A week away- without work- without laundry... without the tension of regular life.... it was good- I learned a lot- and was reminded of something impportant... I LIKE my KIDS. ( Sometimes I want to kill them- but I really do LIKE my whole family. They're smart- thoughtful- opinionated... and unique.

I love them.

Next year- regardless of where we go for vacation----I WILL NOT get caught up- in the dollar/return trap----(I hope!)

(Dear Lord- I thank you for a great family- I love each one so much...I'll miss them as they go back to work and school....(mostly) Help us to hold those moments in our hearts- the time we had together- please use it to bind us together- and strengthen us- and Lord- about those pictures where I look FAT... could you do something about that? kidding Lord- I love you- and am glad you love me----fat and cranky- or thin and thankful- amen.)

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January 07
Questionaire time again...
SP 7 Questionnaire.....

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer higher quality and/or natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Yeah- pretty much. ( really just like SOFT natural fibers- but I guess that qualifies..) 2. Do you spin? Crochet? I TRY to spin- but pretty much make KNOTS at this point- just not getting the tension thing-but it's now a QUEST. I WILL Learn. 3. What do you use to store your needles/hooks in? Pretty cool needle rolls my SIL makes--- love knitting bags- so keep them there too----4. How long have you been knitting? Would you consider your skill level to be beginner, intermediate or advanced? A year and a half- probably intermediate. but love to learn new techniques...5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list? yep6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.) lavander, vanilla-berry... rose7. Do you have a sweet tooth? Favorite candy? Dark chocolate. and am a truffle snob too- i'm afraid..8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do? Previously crosstitched.. but consumed with knitting now---- and accomplishing spinning I suppose. LOVE Photography- and do some scrapbooking- (need to get caught up on that---) 9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD) Contemp CHristian- I guess. Switchfoot- Third Day is my fav group----Matt Redmond- Crowder Band....10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer? Any colors you just can't stand? LikenJewel tones- hate yellow- not sure why.....
11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets? Married- 17 yrs! 16 yr old 13 yr old and (Surprise) 3 1/2 year old.... BOYS.12. Do you wear scarves, hats, mittens or ponchos? scarves- mittens- Wraps- (stole shape pref) Umm ponchos- they would point to my Butt.. I avoid that at this point Hats are cute- but- ummm they mess my hair- so i buy them and make them and don't WEAR them....(earmuffs though-) 13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with? KSH crack... malabrigo- is my ALL time favorite wool... SOFT.... anything soft- and prefer natural fibers---love knitpicks. 14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like? Itchy or not soft stuff....not big on novelty yarns- except maybe for a bit of trim...15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?- finishing clapotis #4.... NON Christmas knitting for myself....16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit? I'm a moody knitter- ( I moody in general- ask my family) depends on how I feel- I keep lots of projects going--- small ,med and large---complex- simple etc....pretty much ADHD when it comes to knitting project choices.17. What are you knitting right now? all of the above... a pair of socks- in koigu- (did i mention I Love koigu?) a Clapotis in Malabrigo- Purple Mystery---- a Scarf in Falling leaves in handpaint cashmere is blocking..... and STILL working on finishing Tempting by told ya- ADHD.18. Do you like to receive handmade gifts? Absolutely. 19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles? rt tool for the project.20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic? wood- like cool hand made needles- beaded etc....lantern moons are afav... and have denise- and plymouth circ interchang sets---21. Do you own a yarn winder and/or swift? yes- I love them--- so do my kids and DH!22. How did you learn to knit? Online- books etc.23. How old is your oldest UFO? 1 1/2 yrs.... abt- prob24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird? Thumper- Lady and the Tramp... Chocolat kitty.... prob about it--- 25. What is your favorite holiday? The next one- always. (Christmas and Easter- and Thanksgiving) 26. Is there anything that you collect? Longaberger baskets- they double as dog chew toys---() knittiing bags- needles yarn- patterns- stitch markers- love stitch markers to match my projects- do shoes count? How about Books? probably collect them as well....27. What knitting magazine subscriptions do you have? none- sadly.28. Any books, yarns, needles or patterns out there you are dying to get your hands on? LOVE to try quivit. LOVE to try the Holz and Stein circs... or straights...(I just can't get them anywhere) Love a lot of Fiber trends patterns---29. Are there any new techniques you'd like to learn? Better at lace----still want to make KIRI or BIRCH have both patterns- am just being a procrastinating fearful DORK about it....probably need to learn better colorwork...intarsia... fairisle. etc...30. Are you a sock knitter? What are your foot measurements? yes I am... I'm a 6 1/2 so pretty small- will measure later- (knit socks on vacation- see pics) 31. When is your birthday? (mm/dd) 8/31

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January 06
Are you afraid of the Dark???? Maybe just a little.....
Pictures tell stories- much more than meets the eye- todays tells an interesting one---

There's not much to it - on the surface. Just a little guy cuddled up next to his big Dad. Shot from behind- by Mom. (Yeah- thats me.)

Whats interesting is what you can't see- the moments leading up to the shot---- of Noah ( my little guy) telling Daddy- ( my big guy) he was scared-----of the dark- of the Pirates (of the Caribbean- yes- yet another vacation pic snuck in for you...) of pretty much everything. But not so much now, huh? Not in this captured moment.

That's what I thought was interesting. Somehow, just by being with his Dad he felt safe- and he even enjoyed the dark and the Pirates..... (mostly)

I think too often Christians are afraid of the dark. It's true- the world is pretty dark. It is not always safe- for us our families friends or children. But maybe- if we curled up in our Father's lap- and let him point out the sights- we wouldn't be so scared....

Maybe we could even bring a few "flashes" of light into the dark.......

The truth is- I've been one of those Christians- I've wanted to protect myself- and my kids from "the dark" (whatever that is...) I've made some decisions to try to protect them---and honestly- they haven't worked. Somehow the dark finds it's way in- thru all of my "shelters".

I'm trying a new approach now- (ok- have been for a while......actually) Instead of constantly trying to pull back- and protect- I'm trying to teach my kids to see the dark places and the pirates for what they are... and to view them from the only real safe place- Our Father's lap. I want to have the courage to bring a little "Twinkle" of light- into the dark with me-----and share it. And, when I don't have the courage- I want to do it ANYWAY!

Dear Lord- I ask that you help me- I believe the world IS a dark place- but it's also full of people you love and created, please help me to climb up into your lap- with the tiny light I have and share it- instead of trying to hide from the dark. I love you Lord- thank you for always being with me- much better than being on any Disney designed ride! amen.


This little light of mineI'm going to let it shineOh, this little light of mine I'm going to let it shineHallelujahThis little light of mineI'm going to let it shineLet it shine, let it shine, let it shine
Ev'ry where I goI'm going to let it shineOh, ev'ry where I goI'm going to let it shineHallelujahEv'ry where I goI'm going to let it shineLet it shine, let it shine, let it shine
All in my houseI'm going to let it shineOh, all in my houseI'm going to let it shineHallelujahAll in my houseI'm going to let it shineLet it shine, let it shine, let it shine
I'm not going to make it shineI'm just going to let it shineI'm not going to make it shineI'm just going to let it shineHallelujahI'm not going to make it shineI'm just going to let it shineLet it shine, let it shine, let it shine
Out in the darkI'm going to let it shineOh, out in the darkI'm going to let it shineHallelujahOut in the darkI'm going to let it shineLet it shine, let it shine, let it shine

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