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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Dear Mentor:

I have an interesting opportunity.

Saturday, I'll have 10 minutes, to talk to (then- much more time to talk WITH) MOPS Mentors......

Part of being a MOPS Mentor- is to come along side of a MOPS Mom, helping her to discover God in her daily life and equipping her to grow closer to Him. She is someone who has "been there, done that" She may not have all the answers, and she may not do everything right, (personally- I prefer that she NOT! Perfect would be pretty tough to learn from, not exactly an attainable goal for me! )

But, she DOES authentically live a God centered, loving life. She has the opportunity to whisper hope to moms, that they can survive motherhood, marriage, life. etc... with God's help. Mentors don't TELL Moms what to do, they help them discover God's will for them. Mentors DO share what has worked for them, and what hasn't, without expecting that each Moms experience will be the same. Mentoring is more about modeling than it is about teaching. Some Mentors speak to their MOPS groups- some do not. It depends on the unique design and calling of each Mentor.

If you had 10 minutes to tell a group of MOPS Mentors what you need from them... what would you say?????? PLEASE COMMENT- so I can communicate the most prevalent MOMS needs!

(and thnx- you're helping write my talk!)

You don't need to be involved in MOPS to answer- you don't need to be a Mom for that matter- the Mentoring process is similar regardless of the details involved.

Monday, March 27, 2006

"I won a date with "Mike!"

OK- FIRST, I'm a happily married woman, so relax.

Mike is my son. He's 16. Yesterday- I taught the kids at our family drove in 2 cars...( I was there for both services..they didn't need to be)

On the way home from lunch, Mike drove home with me...I said "Wanna go on a date? " (I've always struggled to make individual time with each of my guys--- it's tough to do.)

He looked at me like I was a nut.....(and with that--- teenaged "am I in trouble---- or is there something in it for me? look...) then said- "yeah- I guess."

Mike and I love to read. We went to Borders- shopped- picked out some stuff- got a coffee for me--- (more like a dessert! new one----mocha fudgey thing*slurp!* and an IBC cream soda for him... they didn't have energy drinks----(thats his caffeine of choice---- yes- I know it's not great, for him... or me... I guess everybody has their vice... )

Mike picked out a survival book--- (he hunts with Dad and brother--- we all fish and camp....) But- really- Mike and I just love to know weird and interesting facts... we call them "useless nuggets of knowledge" actually- our crazy joint goal--- is to know and learn everything about EVERYTHING!

Does anyone remember the movie---- "Short Circuit" from the 80's?????;mid=5022&date=20060327&uid=5532

Let's just say- Michael and I CONSTANTLY "NEED MORE INPUT!!!!"

There was NO big spiritual discussion... no POLITICS.... (Mikes absolutely MOST heartfelt topic.... I am clueless as to why----- when he was 5 he was canvassing strangers (under supervision-no worries) on the beach- asking who they were voting for--- and WHY! While I am opinionated about issues--- I am in NO WAY a political activist.... I'm more about social activism.... helping people- directly...) anyway....

We laughed about the crazy nasty things you can survive on....(he pointed out that violets are edible----but taste bad.. (he knows violets are one of my favorites.....) If you kill an animal for survival purposes you should save and dry the blood- grind it into powder, and use it to "enrich soup" NASTY.......... I told you. (We don't really prefer "Survivor"- but this new show- "Survivor Man" Yeah- we're hooked. No fighting- no manipulation--- just an interesting personal struggle---- ingenuity... and well- GROSS STUFF! (I'll spare you the rest......)

Anyway- between discussing the book and show---- it was interesting to say the least.
Don't worry- I won't be adding any of it to my culinary repretoire.

Kids grow up. I KNOW, I look at that big- MAN CHILD... and I think---- what happened to those baby toes???? (They more resemble a hairy Hobbit's feet now)
It REALLY does feel like I was pushing him in a stroller yesterday.....

There is grief involved in seeing your child grow up--- a good- right and kind of happy grief.... a loss and a gain --- all at the same time......I know he'll never be my baby again.... LITERALLY.... but he'll always be my baby... in my heart.

Yet--- he's also this interesting- smart- wonderful young man, now--- whom I enjoy knowing- and getting to know- even better.

Each of my 3 children are so unique, so incredibly different- and so special.

We live a unique and interesting life..... Our dinner conversations are interesting----- they range- from Spongebob squarepants.... to "Kipper The Dog" to playdough--to Spiderman and super powers. Political issues, art and middle school relationship who passed the loudest gas......(I am SURROUNDED BY MEN!!!!!!) There are issues of a business executive..(DH) issues of ministry.....we struggle to make sure everyone gets a chance to talk....

It was great to take the time- to just be able to focus on one. Mike. His interests. Him as a developing person. I like him. He's pretty cool. I love seeing the Man that God is creating in him. It's like witnessing creation. Incredible, really.

I love all "My guys" Honestly- I've been dating them all for years---- it's just something we've always done.... and hopefully will continue to. (as long as they'll let me!)

I know it sounds cliche' - but I am really a blessed woman.

I HIGHLY recommend "dating around" when it comes to your family. It's hard to find time... but important to MAKE it.

Dear Jesus- I ask you to bless Michael.... I ask you to bless Matt, to bless Noah and Kyle.... please help me to love them all well, to make time for eachone, to communicate my love and yours to each of them, in a way that they understand and feel it. I thank you for the priviledge of being involved in their lives...I love you Lord- amen.

Friday, March 24, 2006

My Psychedelic Cell Phone.. or cellphones don't like baths...

Psychedelic Cell Phone...... or- Cell phones don't like WATER....

This is what my cell phone menu- is SUPPOSED to look like-------

This is what it looks like after taking a "Mystery bath"
(No one has admitted to getting it wet... but i doubt we had a sudden rainstorm in my kitchen....)

2 funny things about this.

1) DH and I always fight about whether to purchase the extended warranties on stuff--- ( I always say it's a waste....) and he always wins----

Boy- am I glad he did. The new phone will be here in a few days. You were right. I was wrong. ( I hate that)

2) Remember this post?....!9E93166BA3D8321!818.trak
Let's just say--- you don't know how dependant you ARE on something -- until it's gone.... I guess thats how it always is!

But- I also gotta say- the world won't end if I'm without a cell for a while.

Noah 's response? "Mommy- just use the "Fam-bily phone---- the one at our home!"
I suppose I will.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

A SAHM Confesses.....I'm AWOL.
EDITED: 3/23/2006

I have made some edits to this post- because I think it's important, to clarify my intent.

I may delete it entirely.

Honestly, I am praying and asking God about it. I have deleted it from blogger--- mainly because I don't want to re-do the edits- (blogger is a pain in the butt) - I'm emotionally pooped at the moment. ( i decided to copy cut paste.)

These are issues that mom's feel- and face- insecurity, defensiveness, jealousy, comparison. They are real. I know that by being honest here- I'm taking a vulnerable risk. But- the truth is- I've had these feelings. It's taken years of time with other moms- learning about their experiences--- seeing their struggles---to get thru them... I am asking for forgiveness for ever having had these feelings.

My hope is that by being vulnerable about these feelings, and why I've had them...maybe I can help other moms on 2 levels-

1) For the single and working moms- to ask for their forgiveness, and to offer an explanation of how the feelings formed. I recognize that they have nothing to do with you--- but everything to do with me. (Isn't that how most things are?) I believe that greater understanding can lead to greater love and compassion.

2) To challenge other moms - regardless of their personal circumstances--- to look at their part in the MommyWars---to look at WHY they feel the way they do, to be honest about it, and to allow God to heal and change them, as I trust He continues to do with and in me.

I'm asking you to think about it.

OK. Thats it. The war is over.

Not the one you may be thinking of. I'm talking about "The Mommy Wars".

Here is one account:
I'm not the only one who's been involved. The Mommy Wars are everywhere--- and they are not new.

I may not have all the super powers-- necessary to end the war----(though Noah say's I'm "Spider Mom--- to his Spider Boy" ) but- I want to confess to going AWOL. Part of being a Christian- is respecting the differences that God has designed and created- both in us--- and in His plan for our lives. I want to do that.

Honestly- I left the battle a long time ago---- but I want to tell the Working Mom's and the Single Mom's how sorry I am- for ever being a part. Maybe if you know what One SAHM has really thought and felt--- it could help end the war... and we could learn to encourage and love each other-- and help each other honor God with all of our lives.....

So... here's the confession:

Dear Working and Single Mom's:

1) Sometimes--- I am jealous of you. (Yeah- I know it's stupid---- your life is no piece of cake) I am jealous-- cause- well--- I suppose it's because I sometimes wish I could GO to WORK... and leave it there- and then, come home. My work follows me everywhere- including the bathroom....(Since you're a Mom, I suppose you know that!)

I'm sorry for overlooking the unique struggles you face---- because I'm blinded by my own. And- I'm sorry for assuming mine are harder to deal with.
They are not--- they are just different.

2) Sometimes- I 'm afraid you're better than me--- because , well- because I think you must be WORTH more--- probably because you get paid to do your job..... while I KNOW in MY gut this isn't true---- I believe our value is established by God--separate from anything we do- or don't do....-- I guess- I'm still suffering with CAD-- Culturally Affective Disorder--(yes- I think I made that up- but I know it exists) - Like it or not , I am affected by our market driven culture! I'm STILL working on that!

I'm sorry for assuming that's how you feel- or what you think. It has nothing to do with you. It's about how I'm valuing or DE-valuing myself. I can choose NOT to be affected by culture. My heart is to be affected by God.

3) Sometimes I think you look down on me because I stay home... Like, I'm a loser who couldn't get a job..or- .like I'm stupid or something...

That makes me feel insecure--- feeling insecure- makes me feel defensive---- like I need to defend the RIGHTNESS of my choice to stay home.... In order to do that--- I have to prove You are wrong. If I prove that I'm right-(well- and prove that you're wrong) -- you can't look DOWN on me...... then I don't have to feel insecure.

I'm sorry about that..... It's not right to take my insecurities out on you. They didn't come from you. You may not even feel that way. Assuming is always a problem.

4) Sometimes I think you're selfish. The truth is--- I am. Sometimes, (at moments) my decision to stay home has been because I just couldn't let someone else love my kids... or experience their lives with them....sometimes I hate the selfish part of ME that says "Get a job... escape before these kids turn your brain to mush..." There are things I do as a woman--- FOR ME. So I can function... as a wife and as a Mom.... if I don't do them... well- people will die--- ok--- thats a little dramatic--- but their spirits-- their emotional beings would sure be "wrecked" so would mine. It's crazy to judge you for doing what you need to... you should.

Maybe you DO need to work--- in order to BE a good Mom.... maybe it's for financial reasons... maybe it's a passionate call on your life.... anyways- I'm sorry for just thinking it's because you're selfish. It's NOT my job to judge or assume your motives--- honestly- I have a hard enough time sorting thru my own. It's wrong to put my feelings of selfishness onto you.

5) Finally- especially to the single Moms--- I'm sorry for being jealous of you- too. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to argue with someone else about how to parent the kids, or about WHAT to cook for dinner-- or what to do on the weekend......I know I SHOULD appreciate having the input. I should appreciate the SHARING...but- I don't always--- well- probably because I like CONTROL......

While marriage has issues all of it's own. It's also wonderful..... I love being married--- and I'm sorry that sometimes that may make you jealous too----but- theres not much I can do about that. Please help me learn how to be your friend--- without feeling guilty about being married-or having to pretend like I don't....--- Cause- well... then I feel like I have to defend myself too--- and that just ends up messy for both of us. It's a hard road- but I want to learn to navigate it.

So- here's the net/net-

I am AWOL from the Mommy Wars. I look AWFUL in camouflage anyways. (side bar--- what IS mommy Camouflage? diapers--- toilet paper? Drivers permits? Barney DVD's? (I hate Barney ,BTW)
I don't know--- but, I prefer black... it doesn't make my butt look as big.

It will still be hard to learn how to Mother along side of you--we are different- but we're also the same. I will probably mess up again... I'll get insecure---defensive. I'll have a hard time separating what God is calling ME to do--- from what God is calling you to do.
We can do different things- and both be right.

I'll try to see your perspective.. or better- yet--- I'll ASK you what it is... instead of assuming....(that's a novel thought!) I'm still not sure how we can both be right-(we are) --- but- I suppose I don't have to understand. Because it IS true- separate from what I believe or feel... Some things just are true- you don't have to understand.

If you're wondering WHY I bothered... well- I guess it's cause I really sense that God wants moms to "give it a rest"..... it's kind of tough to rest.. when you're at war..... the vet's that I know say it's nearly impossible....

How do I know it was God? Well... that's a whole "OTHER" question....Let's just say--- sometimes- for me anyways-- God whispers in the voices of other people... (not just in my head---;) 3 different times I heard about the "Mommy Wars" in the past few weeks... and I'm reading "Blue Like Jazz" by Donald Miller... I AM NOT Donald Miller--(as far as I know he's never even been a mother) -

I am challenged by it.

I am also challenged to respond to these verses--- cause--- I DON'T know your heart- or motive... and you don't know mine.... unless we're honest. Only God knows. So thats it--- as honest as I can be--- (cause there are probably things I don't understand about myself yet)

I'm sorry.

Peace to all Moms-

love , a SAHM
Hebrews 4:6-
6It still remains that some will enter that rest, and those who formerly had the gospel preached to them did not go in, because of their disobedience. 7Therefore God again set a certain day, calling it Today, when a long time later he spoke through David, as was said before:
"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts."[d] 8For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. 9There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. 11Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.
12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Jesus the Great High Priest
14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,[e] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

Dear Jesus- I ask you to help me with "the Mommy wars" I WANT these issues to be settled-(at least for me)-- but they will probably rear up again.... please help me to be confident in my own choices without demeaning the choices of- or judging the motives of others---- I also ask you for wisdom Lord--- because- sometimes- we DO need to lovingly confront someone about stuff---- and it's hard to know what to confront--- and what to respect as different. I'm just glad you CAN sympathize with ALL of our weaknesses. I love you Lord- and trust you with my heart- Amen.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

imposing on my space... but, looks to me like I MAY BE THE ONE imposing.....;) Posted by Picasa

the strange- yet regallly irritated look on my face.... is because of the OTHER royalty... Posted by Picasa

it requires the wearing.. of a tiara Posted by Picasa

keep scrolling

pretty knittin...... so pretty in fact... Posted by Picasa

some knitting requires the wearing of a tiara

OK- admittedly silly....;)
Dear SP7

You have helped me prove a knitters query...

Does knitting ever call for the wearing of a tiara?

The answer....

THIS knitting does!

The H&S needles are truly wonderful... I swapped a current WIP onto them-- (yes--- wrecklessly risking guage...)

They are THAT good....

Tiara wearin.... KSH knitting... with pretty knitty bling......(stitch markers from ebay) GOOD.

Thnx again...

Also-- that is my Cappucino--- Kitty--- He's not sure what all the ruckus is about---- but is certainly trying to figure it out....

well--- that or he wants to eat my yarn....


told ya- silly

MAIL CALL... STR Club... SP7 Reveal.. SP7 Pkg for ME!!!!

Some days I just KNOW I am happier to see my "Mail person", than she is to see me....

(click the title to my other blog for pics... =for some reason Blogger IS NOT cooperating picture wise!)

Yesterday was one of those days!

First Update:

My SP7 pal... already recieved her final reveal pkg......

I think she liked it! In the whole SP (secret pal) thing-- my goal is always to just blow away the recipient.... it's fun- and besides-- I really think its a cool way to reach out to people I don't yet know and show them a TINY tangible bit of God's incredible love for them...

anyway-- Lu has been fun to spoil-- you can stop by her blog and see the goodies I've sent: (She's incredible! Check out her published patterns at Chiagu and Magknits too!!!!
pics from yesterdays pkg not up yet.... but will be anytime- she's great about that!)

But, it wasn't just the OUTGOING mail that was fun today---- the pics below show the INCOMING!

YAY! Unbelievably----

My SP7 sent me a tiny pkg, and it arrived today too!

Hold on... you won't believe this.... drumroll please.... my mom was rt--- GOOD things DO come in small packages.....

Pictured below are the incredible... SOUGHT after.... Un-obtainable Holz and Stein ebony Circs!!!!!!!!!

I've decided NOT to ask questions.... I'm Italian..... we understand that sometimes- it's best not to ask how someone accomplishes something as wonderful as this.... and, especially as my SP7 pkgs are arriving from :Joisy (New Jersey) ....I'm just gonna say THANX!!!!!!

She also sent some delectable macadamia crunch candies to share--- but ummm I didn't.
They were tasty with some hot coffee yesterday afternoon thought!

Hmmmm..... The pretty green card was also Hawaiian ......maybe my SP7 has been on vacation?????? I'll be stalking blogs to figure that out.....

Anyway---- I was GOING to cast on a new project last night----- but DH had a flight to catch--- so we had some family time--- then had to get him ready--- so will be casting on TODAY!!!!!!

There is also a pic of an e-bay catch---- 8 skeins of KSH..... hmmmm haven't decided what to do with it yet--- though the wrap in the new Rowan might be it..... not sure yet! It was a great deal----alsmost HALF PRICE! One thing about me--- I like nice things---- but I am THE QUEEN of cheap.

Finally----- The BIG box at the bottom---- My SOCKS That ROCK Club Pkg arrived!

Pretty "rainforest jasper" yarn--pretty colorway brown ,gold ,green and teals...- (this will be my first STR experience)

Club Binder-cute!
Cedar Creek Sock Pattern- I think I can , I think I can.....
"Don't Come Knockin' if your socks Ain't Rockin" bumper sticker....
"Rockin Sock Club " button which will go on one of my knittin bags...

and adorable "emergency sock yarn key chain"--- which- ir you've read yesterdays post--- would have come in handy at a family event I was at over the weekend.... I could have used tooth picks! NP... ;)

Thats it for now--- Ciao!

Dear Lord--- I pray that you continue to bless Lu- with creativity--- I also pray that you bless my SP7 giver for blessing me with such a great surprise!


Monday, March 20, 2006

EPT..Me and My Big Mouth...or, Why I should bring knitting to family events....

EPT....Me and My Big Mouth... or Why I SHOULD take my Knitting to Family Events......

EPT No, this entry has NOTHING to do with pregnancy has everything to do with my newest personal diagnosis: (I'm awaiting medical journals to seek me out for my clinical advice on it's treatment and diagnosis.....)

EPT: Extremely Poor Timing Disorder- The afflicted, with varying frequency- loudly proclaim statements- that can be or are, due to the "timing" of the statements (not necessarily their content.)... painful to those within verbal proximity.

I've decided this a a disease I am occasionally afflicted with. I had a "recurrance" over the weekend.

EPT can be a very painful disorder. Not just for the sufferer, but, for anyone in verbal proximity. This weekend's "recurrance" is a prime example of that.

Suffice it to say--- that I was at an event, with members of my extended family.... when I made a "humorous" yet, true statement--(actually, it was about my "need" to knit).....-- that because of circumstances, I was not considering....nor fully aware of..... caused the entire "table" to let loose an audible *gasp* that made clear my "faux pas"........and my Disorder: EPT.

The details aren't important--- but it's not the FIRST occurance I've had with this "disorder"......the issue here isn't whether the *gasps* were necessary... or that the statement was made.... but the choices I had to make, after the fact.

As soon as the statement flew from my lips.... I wished it was a "trained circus bird " that I could whistle for--- and that would obediently, and SWIFTLY, return to my mouth--- never to be HEARD by those present....

No such luck.

That bird had flown the coop. And, as I am gifted with .....well... let's call it "PROJECTION" , (I am LOUD- it's a cultural thing-- I'm Italian!) there was no ambiguity about what was said- or who said it.....

I immediately, applied "verbal salve" connecting the statement to myself... and continued quickly on... in hopes of smoothing the situation..although I felt that the person involved was "fine with it".. the potential for hurt and misunderstanding nipped at my heart all day. I just don't like the feel of "unfinished business".


1) Avoid the people involved for the rest of my life. (I thought about it)

2) Over dramatize the situation--become a victim of my pity for my stupidy- and (probably for the other person..) make it even worse....( gotta be careful in apologies-- they can become drama scenes----- and make it even WORSE)

3) Just honestly, openly deal with it.

Option 3 seemed like my best choice.

I sent an email..... casual, but direct. It was recieved with appreciation and the reassurance that, "WE ARE GOOD"

Funny how sometimes just dealing with EPT recurrances.... can CURE it! (well- for the moment;)

The truth is... in relationships- we occasionally hurt each other--- sometimes intentionally... sometimes not..... we just mess up. While I try to do my best NOT too..... I think it's equally important to know HOW to handle it once you've blown it.......

Maybe you have other ideas that would help someone---- go ahead... post'em!

BTW--- I am convinced--- that had I brought my current lace knitting project into the event with me..... I'd have kept my mouth under better control......just FYI.
Sticking with the EPT theme.... having something to do with my hands and concentrate on a bit--- can function as a "prophylactic" for my mouth!!!!!

Dear Lord.... I know I am prone to EPT.. and just plain not THINKING before I speak--- please help me be sensitive to those around me.....please protect them from my "recurrances" and heal me of my Disorder!!!! Help me learn to be "careful" in my speech...and when I'm not--- help me to do what's right !!!..I love you Lord- amen....

Proverbs 13:3

3Careful words make for a careful life;
careless talk may ruin everything.

Friday, March 17, 2006

kiri cashmere blocking

kiri blocking Posted by Picasa

Kiri... Take me where I'm going... do do do

March 17
Kiri... Take me away... to where I'm going.... do do do
STUPID title- yes- I know this...

But I'm excited!!!! I DID IT!!!!

Is it Earth shattering? Life Changing? No.

But, I learned stuff- and it's finished and it'll stay DONE...( unlike housework and diaper changes...) and well- I like it.

So there.

What am I going on about?

KIRI. After all that CHristmas knitting---- I made myself a present!

My first mulit-part lace charted project. Yahoo!!!!

Again... the STATS...

Kiri Shawl Pattern:
Free online @ THANKS POLLY!!!!!
Colourmart UK 100% Cashmere- in 4 ply----Burgundy color
(ebay) $27.00 (not sure on final yardage--- its coned yarn... hard to estimate...prob about 800 yds.)
Addi Natura circular needles in US #8's
start date:
February 25- as an impulse... (mostly- thought it would be an experiment---- have been Afraid to start this project for almost a YEAR)
Finished: March 16- blocking as I type....

Blocked measurements:

76"x48" not sure why.. probably in my blocking i'm good with it.

I'm really just posting for her to be fawned over--- so PLEASE comment away!

Knitters know--- this is one of those "MOMENTS" where you thought you COULDN'T but you did... a major accomplishment.

Besides- I learned to sometimes just FOLLOW the DIRECTIONS as written.... you don't always have to UNDERSTAND everything-- for your project to turn out!!!!!

Dear Lord- help me apply what I learned from this project into my spiritual life... I know that sometimes I don't have to UNDERSTAND all that you're doing--- to go along with your "Pattern".. but just to follow the next direction..and trust your wisdom in design.....I love you Lord- amen.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Follow The Leader

I've been thinking a lot about what a leader is.

Maybe- it's just this simple.

There is always someone ahead of you..leading you..

There is always someone behind you- following you.....

You are always a leader- and always following.

Anyone- that has someone watching them and following their lead, is a leader.

Every Mother is a leader.

Every Father, is a leader.

Every Christian, is a leader.

I can't,for the life of me,think of a person who isn't. I suppose the differences are in the HOW and the WHERE you're leading TO.....

I know that there is controversy over women in leadership, over the "right way to lead". Over submitting to leadership...

Honestly, I just think we make things too hard.

As a Christian, I follow. Jesus. I really- honestly- try to follow his lead.... sometimes I stumble out of His footsteps.. sometimes I struggle to even FIND them... because they are so obscured in the windblown sand of my life......mostly- I feel like a little girl-- trying to walk in a daddys tracks in the snow.... ever stretching-- jumping,hopping.. these are big steps to follow.... but I know they are the best path thru the snow.

Jesus washed feet. Jesus led by example. He wants us to serve. Each other. Those are His footprints.

A leaders greatest responsibility isn't to be served or obeyed--- but to serve.

Why? Look at the picture---- the game ends when the line is broken.

Have you ever played? A good "Follow the Leader" makes it fun... they make you WANT to follow---- a bad one- barks out orders and tries to trip people up.... I've worked with kids for a number of years---- and have seen it happen lots of times.... a good game goes on and on... a bad one-- ends ... one follower after another---- leaving the line.. until there is no one left.

A leader ceases to lead- if no one is following. A good leader cares for those they are leading--- which encourages them to follow.
Does that mean leaders should be doormats? Or "Vending machines"? NOPE.

Absolutely not. As a Mother- I lead my children... (from the Mothering side of the "yoke") I also serve my children... sometimes by discipline, sometimes serving by a firm no... sometimes by just picking up the mess without a reminder... sometimes by TacoBell after school.... the way I serve is based on their need.

I suppose, in my opinion- a good leader is one who serves well......who is sensitive to the needs of those that are following... and meets them.

There are LOADS of books that tell us how to be "GOOD LEADERS"... I like them--- I've learned a lot from them. Honestly, probably WAY more than I can ever admission I'm sure I wouldn't stand alone in.....

The question I'm faced with am I leading in a way that causes others to follow? Or-- Will I turn around from my place in line... and find NO ONE is following..... I've made the game impossible.....undesirable.... miserable.......I hope not.

Honestly, I think I can answer- that I'm following close to my God..... stretching my legs... jumping when I need to..... to reach the next step.... I want to encourage those who follow..... (though i wonder frequently why anyone would...) not to follow me---- but the one who leads me..........

His name is Jesus.

Somedays, He leads thru my husband, somedays thru my pastors, my friends and even my children..... or strangers....

The real question is.....not how great a leader I am... (or you ) but how good a follower?

Dear Lord--- Make me a good follower----give me the courage to accept the fact--- that simply by following you-- I also become a leader.... help me lead well God- in a way that honors you--- and those you place "next in line" Lord- help me to see the ways I need to serve---- those I lead-- I love you Lord- amen.


STAY TUNED: KIRI Should be complete TONIGHT!!!!!!!!


Tuesday, March 14, 2006


What absolutey "revs your engine?"

What "provokes you" in the deepest sense?

What is it, that infuriates you?

What causes your heart to break?

I would answer like this:

(these things rev my engine)
My God.
My husband. (He's absolutely the best, besides he puts up with me!)
My family.
My friends.

Learning. Teaching. Writing. I guess i see no purpose to it - if you don't share what you learn...

People finding God- and growing in him.

Suffering Provokes me to acts of compassion.

Relationships. I am passionate about healthy relationships.... (though I'm not always the HEALTHY ONE in my relationships! If nothing else- I know I am imperfect- and a bit crazy.)

Working as a team.

Kids. Loving them- and teaching them.

Injustice infuriates me.

People not recognizing as God is active in their lives.....breaks my heart.

Worship experiences that are about "PEOPLE" instead of God- breaks my heart.

Lying infuriates me.

People learning what their "Thing" is and helping them "DO IT" Seeing them grow--- that totally rev's my engine.

So, in light of all this- what did I do today? Did I do anything that I'm passionate about?


What Will I do tomorrow? MORE.

What will YOU?

Dear Lord- I pray that I can always seek to serve you first, in the ways that you have "wired" me- I love you and ask you to fill me with your love for others- amen!

Leading WITH Leaders.....

Leading with Leaders
Team leadership is an interesting phenomena.

It's also an excellant place to grow and develop as a leader.

It can also be a hot bed, full of unique challenges.

MOPS offers a model for leading that is very "team oriented". It's an awesome place to grow.

You'll also experience challenges. Ouch.

One of the lessons I've learned is to respect the leaders, and their responsibility, that God has called around you.

Mutual respect is important in team leadeship. Without it- things can get pretty "testy". (to say the least!)

Mutual respect means- if it's another person's area of responsibility, you may give input, when it's asked for-(un- solicited advice is percieved as CRITICISM) but the final decision is up to the person with that responsibility. It can sometimes looks like this:

The "Hospitality" Team Leader, (usually in charge of decor and meal planning) decides on a "pared down" table settings. The "MOPPETS" Coordinator (insert other Steering Team Position here) doesn't like it, she either brings in decorations for the tables-(side stepping the Hospitality Leader) .. or criticizes the Hospitality Team Leader during Steering Team Meetings ( usually only if the Hosp Leader is out that night). Both approaches are disrespectful. They comunicate an "I know better than her" attitude, and preclude further "Team Input". Who wants to even open up to input if yur "final answer" will be side-stepped anyway?

Teams lead TOGETHER by sharing input- and asking questions- about WHY someone is choosing to do something in a certain way. All the time, recognizing that, all input may not be acted on.

The Coordinator holds a unique perspective of the entire MOPS Group- as does each person involved in the meetings planning and preparing. RESPECT means- allowing someone to make decisions with which you may disagree- but you are not going to be held accountable for- or have to bring to completion.

The truth is , God calls leaders to LEAD together. That, in itself, can lead to some sticky situations......a group of leaders frequently, is a group of high energy, opinionated, motivated and passionate people. Each one unique in their opinion--- of EVERYTHING.

It's sometimes hard to know where your responsibility ends- and another persons begins. But- it is SO important to find out. Although MOPS International gives us job descriptions, each MOPS group is unique- and many times the "responsibilities" overlap. A Coordinator may also be the Finance person, the Finance Team Leader may also be the "Publicity" Team Leader...This may be necessary- but also confusing.

With the changing seasons of a MOPS Group- individual roles also shift and change. As God grows a group, The Core Steering Team is added to. While a Newly Chartered MOPS Group may have only "half" the Steering Team Members listed in the MOPS Handbook, an established Group may have all of them, and "added on" new positions to meet the unique needs of their group.

Here are some ways I've stomped all over people.... as we've attempted to lead as a team....

I've been in meetings- where- I sensed a lack of focus--- or a "beating of a dead issue" and loudly announced--- "HELLO- we're getting nowhere here- Let's Move on." With direct eye contact with the "Leader" in charge. that's definitely the WRONG WAY!

(it's a "thing" for me- I hate wasted time- and get bored when there is no longer "fresh content"-- the problem isn't that I voice the frustration or need for direction--- it's in HOW I said it... I have also said things along these lines.... "So-and so----(addressing the leader in charge) I think we're at a stand still... do you think we should "table" this one-- or take it "off line?"

See the difference?- instead of a "Hostile Takeover" Where I MOVE THINGS on- to another direction---- it's a redirection to the leader in charge- WITH a gentle confrontation of the area of struggle I see at the moment.
I prefer this one- as I don't have to APOLOGIZE for this method later!!! My personal rule is: If I offend in public- I apologize in public.... ouch. Not entirely enjoyable.

So, how do we KNOW where the lines are?????

Here are a few suggestions:

1) Ask questions. (What specifically am I, as ____________ Team Leader, responsible for?) When adding new Team members- I'd suggest this be a standard conversation for the Steering Team to have together- reviewing each ones responsibilities)

2) Ask more questions.... When you as a Steering Team leader are concerned about someone elses are of responsibility, instead of ASSUMING " they just don't know any better" ask WHY. There is most often a reason you just don't know about, yet.

3) RESIST the Urge to Conduct a "Hostile Take Over"- "Hostile Take Overs" occur when a Leader decides to push ahead her agenda- disregarding the leader God has placed in another area.

What does that really look like? Well, it might look like MOPS Mentors making the DECISIONS for the other MOPS Leaders---- maybe choosing the incoming Steering Members- instead of offering wise guidance to the rest of the team. Or, it maybe the Finance Team Leader actually choosing all of the Hospitality "dry goods" in order to assure that the funds are spent in a way that the Finance Team Leader decides.

(I haven't actually witnessed any of these examples--- but they are out there.)

Remember: Just because you COULD do something, doesn't mean you SHOULD.

4) Allow for other Leaders to Grow. Sometimes there are leaders of varying stages of "maturity" both in Christ, and in leadership. It's ok, to allow "the process" to work out in a leader- confronting issues that are hurtful, or issues of immorality, or issues where the "bigger picture" isn't being taken into consideration. Honestly- for me- sometimes that means to keep my mouth shut.

I need to remind myself all the time- "I am not the Holy Spirit" Nor is it my job to point out every flaw or error or preference difference and make it "RIGHT" which to me--- and probably to you- means- "make it MY WAY"

Leading as a team is awesome---- the Bible tells us that when 2 are walking down a road and one falls- the other is there to help him up---- but pity the man who walks alone.

I've walked the leadership road- both ways- trying to do my job--- and telling everyone else how to do their job- (my way) truthfully- you end up walking down the road alone. That isn't "Team Leadership" It's Team Dictatorship. And, regardless of the position held by the "dictator" it cuts a team apart--- severing limbs that are necessary for the team to function as a "body"......

1 Cor 12: 14-19
14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

I'd encourage you to read the whole chapter--- just a click away!

After you get thru the "messiness" of learning to lead together---- you all gain HUGE benefits---- your weaknesses can be helped by someone elses strengths- and theirs can be, by yours--- everyone learns- everyone grows.... and together- down the road we go! (goes?)

(ok the "pseudo" rhyme was unnecessary--- but it IS my blog)

Dear Lord- even as I write out these things- i see so many of my own short comings--- please continue to grow me as a leader---- and help us all to grow TOGETHER!


The Germs that annoy and sicken us......

Sometimes it's just one thing after another!
3 kids- Three illnesses of varying types.

1 Spouse- one seperate illness.

One additional set of dysfunctional sinuses... my own seperate entity of sickness.

Add to this a poor little guy with his first cavity--- (which took the form of Saturday night crying....for hours---- a middle of the night trip out for -no kidding- at least 10 types of toothache medications---let's just say dad wanted to assure the little guys comfort!)

My home looks like a hospital ward....boxes of tissue... medications for all that ails.... blankets--- pillows--- pets run a-muck..

Let's blame it on the weather. Let's blame it on winter---- let's blame it on something and then go for vengeance! (how does one go about seeking vengeance on the weather???) Doubtful that will work.

At the moment- everyone is sufficiently medicated- I will be spending the afternoon in close proximity to the bleach bottle-- as I now go about exercising our home from the germ demons that are torturing us..... (ok--- torture is not an apt description....but we're sick of being SICK!!!!!!)

Things I'm looking forward to this week:

My guys feeling better.

Feeling better myself.

Leaving the house for something other than a "drug run" or Dr.s appointment....

Going to church.

Going to Velocity- (our churches' leadership/training meeting)

Celebrating my little guys 4th birthday!!!!! (today will be out family party------ looking like McDonalds.....and actually GOING IN to eat-----with lots of PLAYSCAPE time.....(i'll take ibuprophen before we go-------those places give me such a headache!!!!!)

Noah is 4 Yayayayayay!!!!!!

Finishing " Kiri" I am on the last repeat before the border!!!!!! Yes!

Finishing a baby-beach bum sweater I made for a baby shower this weekend... (a marled navy and cream cotton blend "hoodie" ) Just sewing it up!

Dear Lord- I ask you to continue to heal my family---- thank you for the drs and meds---- and having all that we need- I love you Lord- amen.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Spring---cleaning- and Kiri- Knitting update

Spring Cleaning... and Mom Spot....n KIRI update...
Busy. Busy. Busy.

As you can see from the pics yesterday... working on the couch doesn't always WORK.

SO---I decided to do a little "creative space management".....

We have a dining- room.... and like most people, who do---- we use it for holidays..........or when we have company....(which isn't as often as I like!)

Seems like a "waste of space" to me... I moved in. It will be MULTI-purpose. I can change it back to a Dining room in about 15 minutes.... but- now my knitter-stash... my computer, my biblestudy stuff-----my spinning wheel, and fiber--- will all be set up in here.

It'll work for me!

I've also posted updated pics of KIRI (free pattern) here:

I'm on the 10th repreat of 12 before the edging. As per my obsessive style---- I'll be making this again!

There is also a pic of my "Method" of lace knitting pattern tracking---- Kacha-kacha counter- to count rows---

CUTE Very CUTE sheepy counter to track repeats-----(

I also found the cutest little hand made bag in the picture for my stitch markers and counters-;) Great to have for lace knitting!

For my next magical Kiri:
I have 4 skeins of this:
waiting for it! (Kidsilk night- starry night)

I finished the knitpicks "Garden- stargazer-lily" socks... fast- simple- plain sockies--- Nice to knit between rows of lace.....and in the car at stop lights--- and in parking lots----and whie waiting in line.... and in the drive thru @ Mickey D's ( i hate that plce- but Noah loves their happy meals!- They DO however have PLAIN Iced-Tea----(hate that syrupy stuff- so thats what I get;) .....redirection from digression--- Sorry!
Sock yarn available @:

I also cast on some SUPER quick sleep socks---- In Tessoro from Joanne's--- soft for 100% wool-- and I kept hearing complaints that it doesn't felt--- so--- nice warm lavander washable socks for me to sleep in!
(My feet are ALWAYS cold....) "Tessoro Toasty Toes" pattern hybrid-

Now for a question.....

Unspun fiber storage.... any fiber safe ideas???????

Especially ideas that will be able to COVER welll-- as my su su studio/ (oohhhhhh osorry 80's throw back for you...) office is also my DINING Room!!!!!!!
(Notice: Partial stash storage is in the pretty burgundy hatboxes!)

POST IDEAS--;) If you have trouble here- click my blogger link upper left sidebar---- comments are easier there. ;)

I like having a spot to work in---without a PARROT DOG on my shoulder!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I am not a Pirate- Nor, Is Sami a Parrot.....

I don't have a "Problem" with pirates---- but I DO have a PROBLEM with a HUGE ,FAT Beagle sitting on my shoulder----- poor thing- Sami has grown up as an indoor- dog with only two cats to learn from......

(Blame it on the cats I always say;)

In general- I don't prefer dog butts anywhere near my face-

But-No worries- after the photo- Sami quickly "found her way" to the floor.....

It's hard enough being a Mom of three boys---- and getting anything done... do I really NEED this interruption from a dog? NO. I don't.

What you can't see, is my lap top on my lap- and my knitting on that--- I am the QUEEN of Multi-tasking!

(Hmmmm Maybe Sami was trying to BE my CROWN........;)


Monday, March 06, 2006

Word Cloud and FiberGod Daughter REVEAL......

word cloud

make your own!

Interesting to have a WEB-BOT scan your blog and then show YOU what you "talk about" on line---- I'm guessing you could find your REAL priorities spelled out in your word cloud...

Something to think about: If your Word Cloud is accurate... what do I think it says about YOU?????

Edited to add---

My Fiber God Daughter recieved her REVEAL package...

you can take a peek at her goodies- at her blog..

I have to say- I really DO enjoy giving prezzies to people.... my goal is always to go "above and beyond" when it comes to secret pal things---- I guess I also see it as an opportunity to bless someone I don't know-- maybe even show them a bit of how extravagant God's love is....

ok have to word cloud pic later- blogger isn't working.....

Learning to Twinkle.... ok- AND staying up till 3 in the morning to LTP......

Learning to Twinkle..... ok... staying up till 3 in the morning learning and LAUGHING!

Take two of the things I love in life- which I love- learning and laughing, add some chicken soup- chili, chocolate... fruit... coffee...chocolate.....Chinese take-out.... 8 terrific women... and enjoy it ALL in 24 hours--- and that's what I call a Leadership Training retreat.

I am a Council Coordinator- for MOPS International. It's an awesome non- profit organization the exists to support and encourage Mothers of Preschoolers. I've been active in MOPS and leadership at MOPS since my oldest son- (now 16 1/2) was a few months old.

I have the opportunity, as a Council Coordinator- to help groups within my council,( I serve the Southwest Metro Detroit Area- Suburbs mostly- so far.) with leadership training and support. I love my "job".

This weekend, our "Zone" (29- which is the entire thumb- south east lower MI area) Leaders met to spend 24 hours in training and support of each other. Our "Zone" is covered by an "Area Coordinator"- who leads holds accountable, and trains the Council Coordinators. We have 7 CC's in our Zone- and are always growing.

It was, an incredible experience.

Arriving at 5- on Saturday--- our "retreat" lasted until about 6 on Sunday. We covered a huge amount of information- and fun in that short amout of time! It was amazing.

We shared Council Meeting ideas-
Planned for our upcoming "Leadership for Life Summit" - (click the sidebar for more info)

We had training in:
Professionalism and Succession- (succession is the preparation of and for leadership position- transitions) Group retention and networking new groups.
MS Excel- and using computers to our advantage- managing database information etc.
We had a classic brainstorm session on our theme for next year, we spent time in prayer for our local groups- and our personal prayer requests.

We were spiritually challenged thru devotionals, and the encouragement of each other.

Our "Zone" is incredible. The women with whom I serve, are phenomenal. They are sensitive, intelligent they are accountable, vulnerable and unique. While very unique- we respect and appreciate the differences- in denomination- personality characteristics and experience. MOPS local groups have a commonality- but are widely varied as well. There are Teen groups, there are Urban groups- Military groups-surburban groups, rural groups- groups abroad, the groups are unique to meet the needs of the Moms in each group.

Just one of the things I love about MOPS, is the true "team approach" to leadership, that MOPS embraces. Even this weekend- while our Area Coordinator "coordinated" our weekend- she included each of us in it's content. So each of the areas of training I mentioned above- were facilitated and taught by different leaders within our zone- based on our different skill-set and passions.

(Tammy- my AC , is a wonderful leader)

It's interesting- while we utilize many "business" principles, there is one HUGE difference-

We are there to support and encourage each other- we share our ideas- we help each other- it's not about competition. It's about being team- based on the principles taught in the Bible- about functioning as a "body" each part different, unique and doing it's part to help the whole body function.

MOPS, isn't about mops. (as in the kitchen floor type) It's not a coffee clatch where women complain about their husbands... or lack there-of. It's not about "becoming stepford wives" or pushing women into a mold that is mandated by a central organization.

MOPS is about Jesus. It's about reaching out to women- where they are at, and meeting their needs- leading them one step closer to the meeter of our greatest need- Jesus.

The purpose statement of MOPS International says it best:

The purpose of MOPS International is to nurture every mother of preschoolers by meeting her distinct needs to the glory of Jesus Christ.

I'll be using all that I learned this weekend- to train the women I serve, locally.

I'll be enjoying the connected relationships I built this weekend- eternally.

I'll be energized by the expereince of fun and learning of this weekend, until next time.

I'll be doing laundry- both from the time I was absent from home......and the LTP (LAUGH TILL YOU PEE)experiences---- of the weekend--- for DAYS....(ok ,not really------ but you know- just making a point, all was not" business... fun was an aspect of everything!!)

Want to know more about MOPS? Want to START a group? Or find one- to be a part of? Just, click the link.

I want thank my wonderful husband- who handled everything I normally would have "on the home front"... this weekend...which included a little guy who is still sick. . He even did a bit of laundry! What a great guy!

OK- my plan fo rthe rest of the day---- is to relax- knit a bit- play with Noah, (funny how tiring fun can be.......well- especially ridiculous fun tat takes place until 3:00 in the MORNING!!!!!!!!)

Dear Lord- I thank you for the awesome experience I had this weekend- and for those with whom I serve- and those that I am blessed to serve- please fill them with your love- and equip them for what they are called, I also ask that you bless those who serve me- both in my zone and region- as well as from Denver---- I love you Lord--- amen.

Friday, March 03, 2006

Faithfully "Knittin Chicken Soup"

Yesterday was rough.

It's over. Today was busy, with paperwork, and computer work.....This weekend will be busy.

So, tonight... I'm "Knittin Chicken Soup".... for my spirit.

Sometimes, you just have to relax.

What's "Knittin Chicken Soup?" Does it involve using celery as needles, and carrots with chicken as yarn? Doubtful. Besides- that sounds messy- Like NOAH ()type messy..... not my style.

Knittin Chicken Soup- means I put dinner in the crock pot, (no work- still food- works for me) i already have my "jammies" on--- (sweats, unmatching slob) and I'm going to knit.

Not challenging knitting... not knitting that will teach me new skills (tonight "Napoleon" can have all the "skills")

(yeah- I just put that in - for my teens. We've had more than a few laughs over this movie!) anyway....

Tonight it's just plain- no-brain knitting. And maybe some no-brain entertainment. (maybe even Napoleon?)

I'll probably enjoy working on "Kiri" and some plain stockinette socks I have going.....nice relaxing round and round... kind of like swinging on a swing. Fun "exercise" , but not hard. And- my pretty "Kiri"

Kiri is on repeat 10 of 12 (maybe 13) She's growing nicely. But- boy-- those rows start to take a looooong time!

It's funny how freaked out I was by this pattern. I absolutely could not wrap my brain around the whole multiple chart thing......once I just cast on and started.. I figured out--- you don't ALWAYS have to understand everything--- sometimes ya just gotta FOLLOW the DIRECTIONS... trust the pattern.

Sounds like faith to me.

And sounds like some of my struggles with faith, as well ! See- I like things to make sense.

When it comes to the world at large--- well---they don't. Sure- some things do...but not everything.

I guess, I like to think things thru. I , generally, act (well- on major things anyway-small things i an be pretty IMPULSIVE on...) after I thoroughly understand the expectations... and directions... the outcome- and the method for achieving the expected outcome. (yes- this drives people NUTS. Go ahead, ask me to do something.. you'll get a hundrred questions clarifying what it is you want me to do, and I won't commit until I understand! However- on my own behalf.. once I do---- I'm ALL IN. ) .....

It doesn't always work that way with God. Sometimes there are things that we experience that just don't add up- to the way we think things should be. Yet....

Romans 8:28 says " And we know, that all things work together for good, for those that love God and are called according to His purposes"

Please Notice: it doesn't say that all things "ARE" good.

Knitting has helped show me in a different way-- that it takes different stitches... different patterns.. different colors, all bouncing light back to the eye- to create an over-all effect of beauty. I love to knit lace. Maybe, I love it because- even when all knit up--- it basically looks a mess- until you pull and stretch it into shape by blocking. Then- POP! The pattern opens into view like a flower. The beauty is revealed in the light, the dark and the tension of pull.

I think thats what the verse in Romans' means as well... that God works all those things--- the good, the hard, the dark and light and tension and relaxing, to bring out the beauty.

I know in my life- there have been ugly, hard tough things- that God has managed to bring beauty out of.

So- with the week I've had, I'm just gonna crash, I'm not gonna think too far ahead of the "pattern".. I'm just gonna do a bit of good old "Chicken Soup Knittin" and let God do the rest.

If I can trust a knitting pattern writer I've never met- I can surely trust God- the evidence of who's skillful and beautiful creation is all around!

Dear Lord- I''m a little tired. Tonight- I'm just gonna relax- I'm glad I trust you, and I leave all the hard unanswered questions in your hands--- make with them what you want, I trust you. love and amen

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Not enough tears......

Today was hard.

It didn't HAVE to be, but it was.

I went to a funeral. Funeral's are always hard. Today's was especially difficult.

This was #5. In about as many years- not just funerals I attended--- but specifically, funerals where drug and (or) alcohol abuse caused the early death of someone I knew and cared about, whether directly or indirectly. OK folks, look around- I'm a typical suburbanite. Drugs are everywhere.

This time it was an acquaintance. Previously there have been funerals for relatives. Sadly- this probably won't be the last.

Truth is... I didn't HAVE to go. I had plenty of excuses to "cover my Miss Nice Christian butt"... and still look "spiritual".

I didn't WANT to see this unnecessary pain, AGAIN. It makes me angry. Honestly- it infuriates me. Not just at the addict- though there is some anger there- I admit. But at a culture that STILL says--- "it's your business.... drugs and alcohol are a choice...." And yes-angry at a devil that wants to rob, steal and destroy all that God has for you.

Truthfully- it also makes me angry at a God who allows us to make stupid choices. God and I have gone around about this many times..... He always wins- as He's God and I'm not. But, I don't have to like it. Nor, (I believe) does God.

Freewill. We can choose. It's true. And, While I can appreciate the theology that understands this as part of life.. part of me still says--- "Come on, God just ZAP us and make us do the right things....."

A few years ago- the movie "Bruce Almighty" came was funny when Bruce said the same thing....

Bruce: God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm.

I believe God is Onmipotent. Yet- He with-holds that power- when it comes to crossing the line of our free will. The movie has a pretty good scene that describe this. In this scene- God-(really Morgan Freeman- (who I loved in the role... something about that voice....) and "Bruce" are laying the rules for Bruce's "reign" as God---

Bruce: How do you make somebody love you without affecting free will? God: [scoffs] Welcome to my world, son.

Later- along the same lines....whe Bruce was questioning why God didn't "fix" things......

God: Parting a soup is not a miracle, Bruce. It's a magic trick. A single mom who's working two jobs, and still finds time to take her son to soccer practice, that's a miracle. A teenager who says "no" to drugs and "yes" to an education, that's a miracle. People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is *they* have the power. You want to see a miracle, son? Be the miracle.

Do I believe it's all "up to us?" Nope. Just read yesterday's post....I believe, We need a lot of help. Sometimes God removes the craving, sometimes He provides counsel, treatment, sometimes- He allows the battle to end like it did for the funeral I went to today. Was it a "loss" in the God category? I don't believe so.

I may, if I thought that this life, was all there is. I don't. I believe the addict I saw in the coffin today, loved God, but didn't/couldn't/wouldn't give up his drugs. I don't believe it HAD to be this way, but it was, and God ended the struggle for him, permanently. There are no Drugs in Heaven, but there are previous addicts- released of their struggle there.

Is that the WAY to be free of the struggle? NOPE. But, sometimes- our choices take us places we never wanted to go, and didn't HAVE to go. Like, death by overdose.

So, what's my point?

Drugs and alcohol still KILL people. The people who die, were valued and loved- by God, and by families. The people left behind are hurting.

Those on the outside- we don't know what to say, we want to avoid. We're afraid of the pain. Don't avoid.. the family of an addict. Be there- whether you want to or not. Help the "survivors" have courage to confront. Help them grieve their loss.

It's not comfortable, but it's important. You don't have to know the answers...the bible makes it easier for us....

Roman's 12 :15 says:
15Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

My title was-- there aren't enough tears. Because that's how I felt this morning. I wept with the grieving. and I didn't like it.

Those who suffer loss due to alcohol and drugs, struggle with complicated grief...... the questions are hard- you don't have to answer them. Just be there to HEAR them. Weep with them. When someone comes out of their addiction.... rejoice with them!

If you know someone- who's using... don't give up. Keep confronting.

While I can't understand the addicts experience. I can understand the families.

See, My Dad has been in recovery for almost 17 years. There are things that our family lost- permanently because of his substance abuse, relationship struggles.... etc.

Sobriety, like salvation... doesn't "make everything all better"... but- I can tell you this... it's better than attending a funeral. My Dad's road to recovery was rocky, and covered in debris. I bear some scars of shrapnel. But, we didn't give up. And, I'm glad, that, when he was ready, God was there, to help.
It wasn't too late. That , gives me hope for others.

If you're an addict, reading this--- it's not too late, for you.

Another scene in Bruce Almighty... God had been "posing" as a janitor.......and says to Bruce...

God: No matter how filthy something gets, you can always clean it right up.

It's true. We make messes... then need help to clean them up. God knows and understands our struggles... He's not up there with a "magnifying glass..." waiting to "fry our antenae off".....everytime we mess up.

Hebrews 4 says it like this:

"Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts."[d] 8For if Joshua had given them rest, God would not have spoken later about another day. 9There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God; 10for anyone who enters God's rest also rests from his own work, just as God did from his. 11Let us, therefore, make every effort to enter that rest, so that no one will fall by following their example of disobedience.
12For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. 13Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
Jesus the Great High Priest 14Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens,[
e] Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. 15For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. 16Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

My point is this- if you're an addict- GET HELP NOW. Right NOW. It's not too late.

Alcohol- affecting your life n a way you don't want?
click here NOW. Go to the closest meeting TODAY. It's not too late.

Narcotics? Drugs? Click here- NOW. Please. Before it's your funeral.

Looking for Christ centered help? Go here:
or here:

Find a church. Ask God to help. AGAIN. Get help. Keep trying. Keep trying. Keep trying.

God wants to help. It's not too late. But, tomorrow may be. To my knittin friends: who want to DO something to HELP.. those who struggle with addictions... click here:

scroll to March 2.

Read, then SHOP your Stash for Charity.

Send it here:
Send stuff to:Kathy Duffy, Social WorkerInterim House Inc.333 W. Upsal St.Philadelphia PA 19119
Read about it here:KnittingLadies - Knitting Crochet Program at Interim House - blog started by Kathy to document her clients' crafting successes

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